


From Now On.

by bend_me_shape_me



Series: From Now On - Verse. [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Season/Series 11, This is the opposite of a slow burn, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, lingering touches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-11-16 06:11:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18088928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bend_me_shape_me/pseuds/bend_me_shape_me
Summary: After the Darkness and God are gone and when everything seems to be back in track, Dean and Castiel will have to face one of the biggest steps they will give together since they met each other, only if past and heaven don’t get in the way.A story about finding home, love, family, about what had been done and what tomorrow will bring with a new dawn.





	1. This is the first day of my life.

_And you said_  
_"This is the first day of my life_  
_I'm glad I didn't die before I met you_  
_But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you_  
_And I'd probably be happy"_

**Bright Eyes - First Day of my Life.**

 

_“And Dean?’’ The sun was out again in its place up in the sky, blinding Castiel for a moment. He blinked a couple times, trying to get rid of the tears threatening to fall. Sam looked back for a second, meeting Cas' eyes, in his face the same sadness and pain Cas was sure his own expression was showing in that moment._

_It was the end. The sun shined again, hope was back and everyone would live to see the start of another day._

_The world was saved, yes, but, what about Dean?_

_He didn't deserve that, he deserved to be there too, with his family, to see the sun again, to see a new tomorrow._

_Suddenly, Sam eyes focused in a point behind Cas. The angel wanted to say something, he looked for words that could ease some of their pain, he wanted to say that no matter what happened next, Dean would always be there, with them._

_He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came, Dean would have known what to say, he felt empty, he had promised Dean to take care of Sam, and he would, they were going to take care of each other._

_Sam’s eyes widened in surprise, and before Cas could turn around he heard a voice._

_Dean._

_“Hey guys.” Cas could do nothing but stand in the spot, frozen,  as Sam moved forwards, walking past him and stopping in front of his brother._

_“Dean?” There was hope in his voice, surprise, and fear, what if this was just a cruel joke?_ _Cas was finally able to move again, he slowly turned around, and there was Dean, in one piece._ _Dean simply nodded, stumbling back when Sam launched forwards, wrapping his arms around him tightly, Dean laughed softly, returning the hug just as tight. Sam let go of him, stepping back to take a good look at his brother._ _“How? What happened?”_

_Cas made his way towards them, Dean stared at him. Cas wanted to know too, but all that really mattered to him in that moment was to touch Dean, to make sure it was real, to convince himself Dean was back, that he was alive. Before he had a chance to think twice about it he had his arms around Dean's neck, his forehead pressed against his shoulder, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding, relief filling his mind and easing the pressure in his chest. Dean’s arms were quick to return the hug, wrapped around Cas’ waist. They stayed like that for a moment, Cas tried to match his breath with the steady rise and fall of Dean's chest, trying to believe the other man was standing there. He moved away, putting some distance between them, but without breaking the touch, so he could stare at Dean's face. He couldn't help the big smile that spread on his face and he couldn't help what happened next, his body moving without his consent, one of his hands rising to cup Dean's cheek while he leaned in and let his lips settle over Dean's in a quick and chaste kiss._

_He didn't fully realise what he had done until he put some distance between their faces and opened his eyes his gaze meeting Dean's. He looked shocked, Cas forced himself to step back. Silence fell between them, Sam coughed, awkwardly._

_“We should get back to the bunker, “ Dean nodded, his eyes still fixed on Cas, who was avoiding any kind of contact, afraid of what he was going to see in those green eyes, maybe anger, Dean told him he was like a brother to him, but Cas had always wanted something else with Dean, he didn't love him like he loved Sam, but in that moment he was sure he had killed their friendship, that Dean wasn't going to be able to look at him in the eye never again, “I want to know what happened with Amara.” Sam finished even when he knew neither Dean nor Cas were paying attention to him or to what he was saying._

* * *

 

_Two months later._

Dean sipped the coffee from his mug slowly, his gaze fixed in one spot of the kitchen table, refusing to look at Cas, with his stupid and cute bed hair , with how comfortable he looked there, in their home, wearing his plaid pajamas pants and a t-shirt with little pugs heads all over it. Dean tried really hard not to think about the close warmth of Cas’ body, drinking his own coffee in the chair next to his, Cas’ favourite chair.

Two months had gone by since Amara and Chuck decided to give each other a chance, instead of destroying each other, and everything and everyone in the process. Dean was back with his family, he survived to his plan, and they had saved the world again.

Castiel was living with them full-time, his bedroom finally looking like someone lived there, with everything they got for him and stuff Cas had bought over the time. Eileen stayed with them from time to time too, between her own cases. He liked her, she was funny, brave and clever as hell, and one of the best hunters he had ever met. She even had a classic car, not as cool as the impala of course, but great anyway.

Sam and her seemed pretty close those days, they both had been talking with her since they met, but Sam was obviously the one closer to her. Dean didn't ever lose his chance to mess with his brother, but he was happy for him, he still remembered that conversation they had, about finding someone that understood their live, hunting and running around stopping the apocalypse.

Hunts were low for now, the supernatural world trying too to regain its calm after the darkness. Crowley was back in Hell, putting order between his minions, it didn't seem like he would be back any time soon.

Everything was pretty fine if you asked Dean.

But deep down it really wasn't. Not everything was fine.

Because Dean and Cas had kissed, and nobody had talked about it, the usual tension between them thicker than it was before, and that was saying a lot.

They were okay, of course, they were still friends, they still watched movies together and argued about which tv shows were better, about how Cas should stop watching documentaries only to criticize them and about how Dean could look for other movies that weren't about cowboys. They still joked, they still listened to music together, and made a great team in cases.

They were always there for each other when the weight of their past was too much to bear alone. The first weeks were hard, Dean had enough nightmares to add now the one about his time as a demon and the ones starring everything he did under the influence of the mark. In occasions, he found himself staring at Sam or Cas, replaying their goodbyes, it was the end, and Dean was in peace with his choice, they had to stop Amara, but it didn't mean it was easy for him to say goodbye and to leave everyone behind.

He also tried to avoid thinking about Cas’ offer, about the fact that Cas was ready to go with him, face the darkness with Dean so he didn't have to die alone, hold his hand and greet death together, he meant it when he asked Cas to take care of Sam, but what he really wanted was to give Cas a reason to stay, to keep living, because he didn't want his loved ones to die, he didn't want Cas to sacrifice himself for him, he didn't think he deserved something like that.

Those times weren't easy for Cas either, he clearly wasn't okay after Lucifer left his body, even if he was gone for good, basically erased from the face of the Earth with a snap of Amara's fingers, Dean, Sam and Cas weren't going to miss the guy; Cas still dwelled in his mistake, and in everything Lucifer did when he was inside his body. So, yeah, they always had words or a single touch to offer comfort to the other.

But they couldn't shake the feeling of something being wrong, of being too close to take a big step, this fear in the air between them, always waiting to see who would crack first. It was killing them, sitting always too far from each other, staring when they thought they weren't going to get caught. Because don't talking about it didn't mean they hadn't kissed.

Dean regretted not doing something when it happened, not kissing back, not saying anything. Cas hadn't told anything either, maybe they were just afraid of starting something new, of opening their hearts and believing they were going to finally get some peace, happiness, something good, they knew their life too well to be able to believe that. It's nothing new, Dean was surprised it took so long for it to happen, but now they wouldn't talk about it. He should have done something, even more when he saw the pain in Cas’ face, the fear of rejection, but he would never let go of Cas, he would never push Cas away from him. He just needed time, both of them needed it, to clear their minds and to look for the right words to say.

He felt the same regret he used to feel when they both were back from purgatory.

What happened there wasn’t a kiss, but it was pretty damn close. It was a cold night, a few days after they had found Cas, the angel lent him his trench coat and he let Dean huddle closer than normal, searching for some warmth, Dean remembered waking up in Cas’ arms, and, without thinking twice about it, moving forwards to kiss Cas, but Benny’s voice warned them of leviathans being close and the moment ended.

They never talked about that either.

“This coffee is great, huh?” Dean said, cutting off his own train of thoughts, the silence between them was comfortable but he would be lying if he said he didn't like the sound of Cas’ voice. And it was true, the coffee was great, better than most of the stuff he had had to drink in motels and dinners, everything was better there, in their home, where he could make everything himself, he still couldn't believe they found this place, after living all their lives on the road he didn't ever imagine they would have a home.

Cas only hummed, always grumpy in the morning, no matter he didn't need to sleep, thing that he did from time to time, because that was totally sleeping and not resting his eyes like he usually told Dean. It worried Dean, Cas had his grace back, but his batteries weren't at their best, Cas always said he was okay, that he needed to rest, that was all, and by the way the bags under his eyes had recceed with time Dean knew he could trust Cas on this. Anyway Dean had seen the guy in bed, probably he was grumpy about having to leave his nest of four blankets to start the day.

Eileen appeared in the doorway then, saving them both from any more awkward talk about the weather or something, smiling and waving at them. Cas signed something to her and Eileen signed the same back, Dean thought they were saying good morning, he was learning a bit of sign language with Cas, just like Sam, maybe not as much as Sam, but he wanted Eileen to feel welcomed here with them and they were really lucky to have an angel that knew all the languages in the world and could teach them.

Sam arrived a couple minutes later, nodding his head at them as a greeting and smiling brightly at Eileen, Dean decided it was to early in the morning to start messing with his brother, and he also couldn't decide between joking about his hair or about the heart eyes he was making at Eileen.

“So get this,” Sam sat down, cradling his mug in his hands, and putting some of the pancakes Dean had cooked on a plate, “ I've found a case.” He continued around a mouthful of food.

“Sam, please, close your mouth, there is a lady here.” Dean smirked when Cas snorted lightly.

“It looks like it's a ghost,” he kept talking, pretending to ignore his brother, even if his cheeks were a little redder that they had been before, awww, how cute. “It’s a little town, not too far from here. People there say there are weird things happening there, specifically in one of the early 20th century houses.”

“Weird things?”

“Yeah, it was a hotel for a while, but they had to close it, things kept disappearing, weird noises too, problems with lights,  and there are people who say they saw a man in the hall and the backyard at night.”

“Nothing else?” Dean raised an eyebrow at Sam. “It's not much. Maybe is just a trick to get people to visit the place.” He got up, picked up his plate and mug and put everything on the sink, he was going to start doing the dishes when a hand on his wrist stopped him.

“I'll do it.”

“Okay, Cas.” Neither of them made a movement, Dean was still facing the sink and Cas still had his hand on Dean's skin, standing right in his personal space.

“So, yeah,” Sam voice made them jump a little, Cas stepped backwards and Dean turned around to look at his brother, pointedly ignoring the face Eileen was making at them, “I was thinking that too, maybe you are right and this is nothing, but it's a good idea that you guys go take a look at it.”

“You ain't coming?” Sam shook his head. Ohhh, now Dean could understand what was going on here.

“I’m going to look around some of the storage rooms, there still are lots of books and objects we haven't seen yet, Eileen is going to help me, I think you can do this without me.” Dean muttered a 'nerd’, Eileen crossed her arms over her chest, Cas, way more used to deal with the banter between those two than Eileen, just rolled his eyes.

“So you want the bunker all for yourself and Eileen,” he waggled his eyebrows,” romantic dinners with candles and all that stuff, right?” He looked at Cas, waiting for some support from his best friend, all he got was a face that clearly said Cas also knew what Sam's plan exactly was.

“Dean!” Dean raised both his hands in a placating gesture, he didn't mind a hunt with Cas, of course he didn't, but he was scared, scared of being alone with Cas for god knew how long, afraid of breaking the balance between them, afraid of hurting Cas, of saying or doing something he could regret later. But deep down both of them knew that they had to talk about it, make a decision, be brave and face what was, had been, going on between them for years, the longer they delay this, the longer they would be hurting, and one day it would maybe be too late. The trip was what the chance they had been waiting for, to be alone and to have a conversation.

Dean looked at Cas, he saw resolution in his expression.

“Well, Cas, if you are okay with this we can pack and go see what is happening there after lunch.” Cas only nodded. So they were going to do this, great.

All the convincement they could feel about the trip evaporated the moment they were alone in their rooms, packing their stuff. Nerves and doubts were back at full force.

After lunch they met at the garage, putting everything they were going to need inside the impala's trunk.

“Think we have everything?”

“Yes.” Cas looked around the trunk, mentally revising a list of things they would probably need for the hunt, when he was satisfied with the result he made his way to the front of the car, opened the passenger door and climb inside.

Dean got in the car a minute later too, but right before starting the engine he realized he had forgotten the socks he was going to put in his bag in his room.

“Be right back!” He jumped outside and came back a few minutes later, starting the car and heading outside the garage.

When the silence between them became too much to bear Dean decided to turn on the radio, the moment his fingers reached out Cas looked outside his window. Huh. He shrugged, turning the radio on.

Barbie Girl from Aqua was the song that welcomed him.

“Cas?” Cas seemed pretty interested in the view out of the car, a view he saw every time they left the bunker.

“Dean.” The damn song kept playing in the background.

“Is there something you want to share with the class?” Cas shook his head. “Are you sure about that?”

“I wanted to listen to something different.” Dean knew Cas loved his music, but he was doing this quest for new things he could like.”They say they had great music from every decade since the 80’s, Dean.”

“You know the rules buddy.”

“Something about drivers, music and cakes, right?” Dean didn't need to see his face to know Cas was smiling.

“So you know the rules.” Cas hummed his agreement, he turned his head, staring at Dean.

“I'm a rebel, Dean.” He deadpanned. Dean didn't want to laugh, because he was annoyed about the whole music thing, but he couldn't contain his laughter, no matter how hard he tried. Cas simply stared at him, smiling softly, before going back to looking outside.

“You are terrible.” He didn't change the station, he could live with a few hours of the greatest hits since the 80’s, even if he was really relieved when then Cas decided to pass him one of the mixtape he kept in the car.

They took a look to the case again during the trip, Cas reading the notes and articles Sam had given them; the case that seemed to be a simple salt and burn, if there was even something going down in the town at all, a pretty easy case in Dean's opinion, too easy, neither of them said it out loud but they both knew this was supposed to be a 'let's make Dean and Cas go away together for a while so they can talk about whatever they have to talk so they stop longing for each other in every corner of the bunker.’ case.

“I think we can have this wrapped up in a day or two.” Dean didn't know what he was referring to, there were a lot of things they needed to solve during this trip.

After a stop along the way for gas and for Dean to go to the bathroom and buy some snacks, they discussed how to work for this case. Since nobody had died yet and all they had for now was a couple of witnesses talking about weird things going on in one of the oldest houses in town , they decided it was better to pose as journalist this time than FBI.

Even if the little town wasn't that far they both released a relieved sigh when they got there, by the time the sun was setting, and were able to leave the car. There was only one little motel, so they headed there after they had agreed that the best way to deal with this was to sleep for a couple hours and start asking around and searching into the local history in the morning.

Dean stretched, yawning a little outside of the car, waiting for Cas to get out too so they could pick their bags from the trunk and make their way inside.

“It's a nice place.” Cas looked around the motel office.

“Yeah.” Dean had stayed in worse places, he was sure of that.

“Not as nice as our bunker.” Dean’s head turned, to stare at Cas at those simple words, smiling widely, happy to hear Cas calling the bunker his home too. There was always this little voice in the back of his mind, telling him that Cas would understand some day that he wanted something else that spending his time with them, with him, but Cas was there, he wanted to be there and that was all that mattered to Dean in that moment.

Cas stared back.

Dean didn't know how long they were there, standing and staring, until someone cleared their throat loudly.

The moment was broken by the sudden presence of a teenager in the other side of the desk, she was staring at them, clearly amused.

“Sorry, hello.” Dean mumbled. He jokingly pressed the bell on the desk, making the whole moment even more awkward than it already was.

“Hello, again, welcome to our motel.” She did a poorly job at not laughing right at Dean's face.

“One room, two beds, please.” She stopped, eyeing him for a moment, then Cas. Dean prayed to whoever was listening for the girl not to say there was only one room left, with only one bed, he didn't have a problem with sharing his bed with his best friend, nope, not at all, but he tended to move a lot around in his sleep and he didn't want to kick Cas in his sleep or something ( or wake up wrapped around the angel like a freaking koala).

“Two beds?”

“Yes?”

“Oh I thought… well, that you needed only one bed.” Dean felt his face turning as red as a traffic light.

“No, no,” he stopped himself before he could add another 'no’,” two beds, please.”

“But we don't need two beds.” Dean turned to look at Cas, confused, there was something weird in his features, whatever It was he looked like he was trying to hide what he was really feeling, Dean cursed himself internally, he probably was offended by how many 'no’ s Dean said, perfect.”I don't need to sleep.” Dean laughed a little.

“So funny, don't listen to him, we need two beds.” The girl shrugged and made her way towards the wall, Dean has just noticed was there, with all the keys to the different rooms.”Cas!” Dean took his chance, whispering, to ask Cas what the hell was all that about.

“What? I don't sleep! It was going to be cheaper that way.” Cas whispered back.

“You aren't going to spend the night sitting on a sofa staring at me while I sleep!” Cas huffed at that, but he raised both his hands in surrender.

With the key in hand Dean lead the way to the room, he wanted to say something, maybe that he wouldn't have any problems with sleeping with Cas, it sounded too weird so he kept his mouth shut as he opened the door, letting his bag on the floor, in front of the bed next to the wall, leaving the one closer to the window for Cas, because he knew how much Cas loved to watch and listen the birds in the morning and that he missed it in the bunker, it was worthy, if only for the little smile Cas sent his way when he sat down on the bed.

Dean went first to the bathroom, to change his clothes for a t-shirt and a pair of ratty old sweatpants and brush his teeth. When he exited the tiny, but pretty clean, bathroom Cas had already changed and was lying under the covers, staring at the ceiling.

Dean flopped down on his bed with a tired sigh.

“Good night, Dean.”

“Night, Cas.” Dean closed his eyes, and moved around a bit trying to get comfortable.

“Dean?”

“What?” He was tired and not in the mood for Cas’ weird and deep midnight questions.

“I can still watch you while you sleep from this bed.”

Dean groaned, he buried his face in his hands before picking one of the pillows and throwing it to Cas. He smiled a little with his eyes closed when he heard a soft grunt from the other bed when the pillow successfully landed on Cas’ face.

“Shut up, Cas.”


	2. Thank you for taking a chance on me.

_And oh, stupid things I do_   
_I'm far from good, it's true_   
_But still I find you_   
_Next to me._

**Imagine Dragons - Next to me.**

 

Sunlight filled the room, filtering through the thin white curtains, little dust motes dancing in the air,  the sound of birds outside and passing cars breaking the silence. Everything was quiet, peaceful. Cas was sitting at the small table, already dressed up for the day with the new clothes they got for him a couple weeks ago, a new trench coat, some plaid shirts and jeans;  enjoying the moment of peace and waiting for Dean to wake up while he read the local newspaper, looking for some new information to help them solve the case.

Nothing, he sighed, putting the newspaper down and sipping his coffee.

He agreed with Dean, it didn't look like there was a case for them in that place, at least for the moment, but he wasn't unhappy about being there, alone with Dean, he had been looking for the perfect moment, for his chance to tell Dean about why he had kissed him, he was going to let everything out and then accept what Dean had to say about it, even if it hurt him to think Dean could not want him in the same way Cas wanted, _loved_ , him.

A small smile curled up the side of his mouth when he took in the sight of the hunter in his bed. Dean was still fast asleep, mouth opened, both his arms under the pillow as he lied on his stomach, he was snoring softly. It gave Cas’ peace, to see him resting, nightmares leaving him at least for one whole night, he still couldn't understand it sometimes, how something so small, so fragile could make him feel so big, so strong. He didn't remember the exact moment he fell in love with Dean, his Dean, all heart and love, with his loud laughs and loyalty, his stubbornness and his quick wit, always ready to turn Cas’ world around, make him feel and see things he had never experience before. Sometimes what he felt was calmed, like the ocean in a tranquil day, a river flowing surely to the sea, always there, always moving, but in a quiet way that let him thought, that let him understand what was happening between them, something that was mean to be; other times it was a riot, the force of a hurricane, the explosion of a star being born, confusing and exhilarating, he was sure then that he wanted to be with Dean, more than anything, that he had never felt a need so strong, that he could do anything as long as they were together.

He stared for a few more moments, he knew Dean thought it was weird, but he couldn't help it, he needed to know Dean was still there, and that he was safe.

Dean stirred then and Cas got up to give him the donut and coffee he had bought for him when he left the room a while ago.

“Good morning, Dean.” Dean yawned, scratching his stomach and sitting up.

“Morning, Cas.” He picked his phone to see if he had any messages from Sam, the remains of sleep disappearing from his face when he saw the hour. ''It's 10 pm!” He looked up at Cas, standing next to his bed, arms stretched out, offering him a paper bag and a coffee.” Why didn't you wake me?” Cas sighed and sat down on the bed, besides Dean's leg, his gaze focused on his hands.

“You need to rest, Dean.” Dean huffed.

“We are on a case, not on holidays!”

“I think you really need holidays.” He mumbled it lowly, Dean still heard him, and he also heard the hurt in his voice, he only wanted to take care of Dean, that's what you do for your loved ones, you take care of them, Dean and Sam taught him that. Dean moved one of his legs, bumping it lightly against Cas’ body, seeing some of the tension on his shoulders disappear.

“You are right, I needed to sleep, thanks Cas, that's for me?” Cas nodded, handing Dean his breakfast, still not looking at him. Dean moved forwards to get up of the bed, Cas turned around at the same time, their faces barely an inch apart, Dean’s eyes dropped all the way down to Cas’ lips before he blinked a couple times, staring into Cas’ eyes again. “I should, huh, get up and eat this.” Cas didn't move, neither did Dean.

“Dean, I, there is something I need to tell you,” He was going to do it, he was going to say it, by the way Dean’s eyes widened with surprise he knew exactly was Cas was about to do.

“Yes?” Right then, when Cas took a deep breath,  Dean's phone started ringing. Cas let out the air he was holding in a frustrated sigh. Dean didn't make a move to answer it.

“It's probably Sam, you should answer it, he will get worried.” He probably wouldn't, he knew Cas and Dean were able to take good care of themselves, but Cas thought that the moment was ruined anyway. Dean opened his mouth, it seemed he was going to argue with him but as soon as Cas got up from the bed and made his way to the tiny table he scratched the side of his face and picked up the phone.

“What?”

“Good morning to you too, Dean.”

“Yeah, yeah, hi Sam.”

“It's everything okay? You didn't tell me anything yesterday.” That's true, Dean was pretty busy trying not to imagine how sleeping with Cas could be to text Sam and tell him they had arrived.

“Yeah, everything's fine,” at his tone, Cas lifted his head from the newspaper, that he had opened again to read an article about a flower contestar that had taken place the weekend before, to look at Dean, he sounded angry, Cas wanted to believe it was because of the interruption, not because he was mad at Cas for trying to complicate everything between them even more.  ''We got here yesterday, we will ask around today, visit the house.”

“Okay.” He paused then, Dean knew he wanted to say something else, that he was looking for the right words. “Be careful out there, you both.” He finally said, it didn't sound like what he wanted to really say and it wasn't what Dean was waiting to listen either.

“Yes, we will, say Eileen we both say hello.” He hung up then and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

 

One hour later they were parked in front of the house, it was a  beautiful, two storey building and it had a big garden, it probably was originally painted with bright colours, washed out from the rain and the abandonment now.

Cas thought the house was the type of house everyone dreamt about for their future, he wondered if Dean had ever wanted something like this after years on the road. Cas thought it was nice, he liked the garden the best, it reminded him of the little patch of flowers and plants he had back in the bunker. He didn’t think he had ever feel the need to have a home, a permanent place to stay that wasn’t heaven, but he couldn’t help the happiness and comfort he found there, with his family, he sometimes feared he would lose everything one day and without a warning. The way Dean smiled at him at the motel, when he referred to the bunker as theirs, he looked happy, and it made him believe he didn’t have to worry about it, that Dean wanted him there as much as he wanted to be there.

They left the car, looking around before walking the steps in front of the front door, they couldn't see much of what was inside, probably dust and spiderwebs, Dean took his emf detector out his pocket, he turned it on and the device started beeping, so yes, there was a ghost there, probably the signal was stronger inside.

“Well, now we know there is somethigngoing on here. We will have to come back tonight, see if we can sneak inside, I say we go get lunch and see if someone has some creepy story to share.” Cas nodded, before he could voice his agreement a voice made them turn around, Dean quickly putting the emf detector in the back pocket of his jeans.

“Can I help you with something?” The sheriff of the town was a middle aged woman, long brown hair in a high ponytail and an expression that said she didn't have much patience. She sent a look their way, both her hands on her hips.

“Hello sheriff.” Dean put on his best and most charming smile, the one Cas didn't like, because it was fake, he loved the bright  smile Dean had when he spent time with those he loved, or while watching one of his favourite movies and after laughing at something Cas has said, even if the angel didn't know what was so funny. “We were just taking a look. We are writing an article.”

“Let me guess, about ghosts?”

“No, sheriff, we work at a travelling magazine.” Cas lied, Dean nodded his approval. He watched Cas as he proceeded to open the bag Dean hadn't realized he was carrying on his shoulder and pick the camera he got at a thrift shop a couple weeks ago, because he now had an interest for photograph. Dean liked that, Cas' new interests in human things, always a surprise week after week, never knowing what Cas was going to choose that time around. He was a good photographer, even if he liked to snap pictures at Dean a little bit too much.

The woman in front of them didn't look too convinced, Cas wondered how many times she had dealt with people attracted by the idea of a ghost haunting the house.

“We thought this was a hotel. We wanted some nice pics for our article.” Dean explained.

“Yeah, it was, but now is closed.” Since she didn't seem to be very fond of questions, or convinced about their excuse of being journalist without any kind of relation with the supernatural, Dean and Cas went down the steps under her piercing gaze, leaving the property as to not push their luck anymore, they said their goodbyes and got back in the car.

“That wasn't really helpful.”

“No, she must be tired of people just stopping by to ask about ghost, what about we go have lunch?”

“Okay, maybe someone else will help us in the town, maybe we can go ask at the town hall or the library.”

‘’Sounds like a plan.’’ Dean started the car.

They headed to the only restaurant in town, Dean ordered a burger. Cas gave it a look.

‘’What?’’

‘’It wouldn’t kill you to eat healthier, in fact, it could make you live longer.’’ Dean groaned.

‘’You teaming up with Sam now?’’

‘’I don’t think there is nothing wrong with caring about you, Dean.’’ Dean chewed on one of his fries.

‘’Okay, okay, I’ll eat a salad for dinner, I promise.’’ Cas was going to say something else but the waiter interrupted them, pouring more coffee into Cas’ mug.

‘’You aren’t from around here.’’ At least the man wasn’t giving them hard looks like the rest of people in the restaurant, well, at least he wasn’t giving them to Dean, instead smiling at him warmly. He was young, in his twenties, dark hair and eyes, and a tag on his t-shirt that said his name was Randy.

“No we aren't, Randy.’’ Dean read the tag, smiling back,’’I’m Keith, this is Brian,’’ he gestured at Cas on the bench across the table, but Randy didn’t move his gaze from Dean. “We are writing an article for a travel magazine, about nice towns and villages to visit and their history.’’ Randy let out an interested ‘ohh’ at Dean’s words, Dean blinked a couple times, looking awkward for a second when he realized Randy had more interest in him than on whatever they worked on, he recovered in no time, smiling again. Cas felt a pang of jealousy, it wasn't the first time of course, he needed time among humans to understand what he was feeling, but now he knew exactly what kind of reaction seeing someone flirt with Dean had on him.

‘’You aren’t here for the ghost of the Williamson House? Everyone that comes here now wants to know about it.’’ Dean threw a look at Cas before looking back at Randy.

‘’No, but everyone talked us about that, right Brian?’’

‘’Right.’’ He mumbled, forcefully, Dean sent him a look, Randy stared at him briefly, like he was seeing him for the first time, even if he had just refilled his mug less than five minutes ago.

‘’My grandma used to told me these stories, everyone around here knows about them, about that house and the family that life there, they say it’s haunted by a ghost.’’

‘’Uhhh, ghosts,’’ Dean faked a shudder, ''you believe them? What were they about, those stories?’’ Randy looked around for a minute, the restaurant was emptier than it was before, Cas guessed he didn’t want to have troubles for flirting with the customers instead of doing his job.

‘’Nah, I don’t, they say this family lived there, the Williamsons. They were pretty rich and they had only one daughter, Elisabeth, everyone says she was beautiful and kind-hearted, lots of men came here to marry her, but she rejected all of them, she was in love with the son of the owner of the bookshop, this Eric guy, their parents didn’t accept that, of course, they thought their daughter should marry with someone like them. He locked her on her room when he found out they were planning an escape plan together, Eric broke in the house to save her, they fought and her father fell down the stairs. They say it’s his ghost, the one in the house, and that he goes after couples.’’ Cas thought it could be a simply coincidence, but maybe the ghost could feel that kind of bond between two people. “Eric and Elisabeth left the town that night and nobody heard about them again.’’Randy shrugged. “It's crazy what people do for love, huh? Leave everything they know behind, break the rules, even kill and die for it,” he continued, unaware of the look Cas was giving Dean across the table at those words, and also of the look Dean sent him back, a moment of silence communication between them, “I don't believe all those ghosts stories,but people that had stayed at the hotel always said weird things happened all the time, they had to close after this couple was attacked on their honeymoon.” Dean and Cas both perked up at the new piece of information.

“What happened?”

“They say it was their first night here, just married, they heard something outside the room, a man’s voice, all of a sudden,’’ Randy lowered his voice,’’ the lights flickered and objects were flying across the room, the guy almost got hit in the head by a vase, the room was colder and colder and he decided to left, running and screaming outside until he was standing in the middle of the street in his underwear.’’ Randy chuckled, Dean let out a false laugh at that too.

“So people say is that Williamson guy, right?” Dean made a pause, Randy nodded.‘’Is he buried here?’’ If he thought the question was weird Randy’s face didn’t show anything.

‘’No, his body was burned I think,’’he was going to keep talking, but a woman yelled his name from across the local.

‘’Sorry, have to go back to work.’’

‘’Thanks for the story, Randy.’’ Randy had already turned around to leave but he swiveled on the spot to look at Dean again.

‘’I’m sure I can tell you more for your article, maybe we can have a drink later, there is a nice place at the Next town.’’ Dean choked on the coffee he was drinking. He coughed a couple times before being able to speak again.

‘’That sounds nice Randy, but we are leaving in a couple hours, we need to keep travelling, we have a really long list of places to visit.’’ Randy left after that, disappointed, Cas got up, feeling in a foul mood now.

‘’We should go back to the motel, we know everything we need now,but we aren’t going to be able to go to the house yet.’’ He didn't’ even wait for Dean to pay and leave, walking to the car and climbing inside. When Dean joined him, he looked like he wanted to ask Cas what was wrong, but he didn’t, driving them back in silence instead. Cas hated feeling like that, Dean was attractive, it was normal that people flirted with him, and he was being irrational, Dean hadn’t really flirted back, but he hated to think about someone that wasn’t him touching Dean, giving him all the love he deserved, making him feel good.

The moment they were inside Dean phoned Sam to tell him all they had on the case, after that they settled on the couch to watch some tv and wait until the night, each of them in opposites sides of the couch, tension heavy in the air between them.

 

That night they sneaked in the house, armed with iron and salt. The house, beautiful with the sunlight, turned darker, creepier when the sun had set.

Cas watched over as Dean opened the lock so they could enter, flashlights in hand.

Nothing on the kitchen and the dinner room, just dust and old furniture, a strong moist smell in the air, and silence, a silence only broken by the creaking of the old wooden floors and furniture. Dean took out the emf again, the reaction was stronger inside, signaling, that yes,clearly, there was a ghost there.

When they couldn’t see anything in the first floor Dean gestured at Cas to follow him, leading the way up the stairs, both of them wincing when the wood creaked under their feet.

Dean stopped on top of the stairs, he raised his hand, signaling Cas to start in one of the rooms on the left while he turned to the ones on the right, a soft noise making him stop suddenly, turning to look at Cas.

‘’You heard that?’’ Cas nodded, trying to look past Dean.

‘’It’s a rat.’’ Dean quickly turned around, and yep, there it was, a pretty big rat, staring at them before running and disappearing through a hole on the wall. A shudder shook Dean’s whole body and he made a face. ‘’Are you scared of them?’’

‘’No dude, but they are full of diseases.’’ Cas just rolled his eyes, walking past Dean, ready to open the door closer to him, he stopped dead in his tracks, his hand gripping the doorknob.

‘’Was that a woman laughing?’’

‘’Didn’t sound like a rat to me.’’ They heard it again, now followed by a man’s voice.

‘’Nobody said anything about a woman.’’

“It came from the end of the hall.”

“Yes.” Cas stepped back, ready to walk down the hall.’’Dean, look.’’

‘’Another rat?’’ Cas shook his head, trying really hard not to snap at Dean, it wasn't the time for jokes. ''It’s the ghost.” Dean turned, and yes, there he was, it was an old man, clearly the father the stories around mentioned, he was standing in front of the door the laughs came from, before they could move the ghost cross the door, they heard screams inside, and ran towards the room.

‘’It’s locked!’’ Cas shouldered Dean out of the way and kicked the door opened.He raised his iron bar over his head and aimed at the ghost, making it disappear for now. He turned to look at Dean, feeling warmth in his cheeks when he just found an impressed look staring back at him.

‘’Nice, Cas.’’

‘’What was that?!’’

There, on the bed, were two teenagers, the girl was pale, like she was about to pass out, and the guy next to her wasn’t any better, in fact, he looked even more close to fainting.

“Weird place to make out kiddos. You should get out of here before he comes back.’’

‘’That was a ghost?!’’ Dean nodded at the question, quickly getting closer to Cas.

‘’We should find whatever is keeping him here and burn it, if he has been around for as long as the stories say he will come back soon.’’

‘’Okay.’’ Dean looked at the kids again.’’Go, come on.’’ Neither of them moved, too scared to leave.

‘’What if he is outside?’’

‘’Trust me, we have a couple minutes, it will be fine. What’s your name?’’

‘’Cassidy, he is Declan . God, my mom is going to kill me if she finds out I was here.’’

‘’Cassie, he is right, we should leave.’’

‘’Hey, we are not going to let anything happen to you,’’ Dean tried to reassure them, ''He will go with you.’’ He pointed at Cas with his thumb.’’Right?’’ He stopped the moment his eyes met Cas’.

“I'm not going to leave you alone!”

“Cas, it's only a minute, you get them out of here and you come back, it’s only a second.” There was something in the way Cas looked at Dean then, stubborn and grumpy, arms crossed over his chest, something in the way he refused to leave Dean alone, even if he knew that Dean was going to be just fine, even if it was just for a minute; that made Dean move forwards, cradling Cas’ face with his hands, and kiss him slowly, Cas needed a moment to catch up but he was eager to kiss Dean back.

When Dean pulled away Cas was staring at him with wonder.

‘’Does that mean you -?’’

‘’Yeah, Cas, now go, I’m sure these two are past their bedtime.’’ Cas looked at him for one last time, before making a gesture for the kids to follow him outside.

‘’Be careful!’’ He told Dean over his shoulder.

Once Cas made sure Cassidy and Declan were okay and that they were going home he came back inside.

‘’Have you found something?’’ Dean jumped a little at Cas’ voice.

‘’No. I mean yes, a lot of things actually, there is so much old stuff, how are we going to know what we are looking for?’’

‘’I guess maybe is something related to his daughter.’’

‘’That’s what I thought, too.’’ He tossed Cas a lighter, holding his own one tightly in one hand, in the other a can of salt.

They looked around for a while, both trying really hard to focus on the task in hand, the memory of the kiss they had just shared distracting them, hearts still beating fast. The still needed to have a real conversation about what they felt for each other, but it was more clear now than ever, Cas was more than distracted by  the possibility of the kisses to come. It made Cas’ mind reel, he shook his head, he needed to focus, the sooner they finished there, the sooner they could go back to the motel and talk about everything they needed to say to each other.

‘’Maybe is one of her objects, we don’t know which room was the girl’s, but for the reaction the ghost had my bets are on the one where our friends were having some fun.’’ Cas thought about it for a moment, nodding. ''I would go take a look.’’ He didn’t make it too far, coming to a halt in the middle of the hall, facing the wall.

‘’What’s wrong Dean?’’ Dean only pointed at the wall, waiting for Cas to come stand next to him, both of them losing their focus once their bodies were close again. Cas finally regarded what had drawn Dean’s attention, there was a large portrait of a beautiful young woman on the wall, staring back at them with soft blue eyes, long brown hair and a barely-there smile.’’You think is the portrait?’’ Dean shrugged.

‘’Worst case scenario it isn’t and we have to keep looking for something else that can be keeping the ghost here.’’ He took the picture down, turning it around. ‘’ There is something written on here.’’ Cas pointed his flashlight at the back of the canvas so Dean could see it better. ‘’Thanks Cas, so, Elisabeth, 1910,’’ he read, ''it’s her.’’ Cas was going to say they should burn it, it was probably one of the few things that belonged to the family and were still there, but before he could speak the ghost was back, throwing them backwards, the portrait falling in the middle of the hall. Cas heard a loud thud when his iron bar fell down the stairs, he hit a close wall and was back on his feet in no time. Dean flew until his body hit a closed door, breaking it into pieces.

‘’Bingo.’’ He groaned.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Cas kept his eyes trained in the ghost, he was staring at them, not making any move yet.

‘’Yes.’’ Something bumped his foot, the salt Dean was carrying had rolled towards him, without taking his eyes off the spectre he crunched down to pick it up.

It all happened in a blur then, the ghost turned in Dean’s direction, with a strained whisper that Cas thought sounded like ‘’ You won’t take her.’’ Cas remembered the lighter Dean had given him, fishing it out his coat pocket, he flicked the lighter, throwing both  the lighter and all the salt he could over the picture watching the spectre burn in flames.

Once Cas made sure the ghost was gone and the fire was extinguished he stopped in front of Dean, who was still on the floor, surrounded by broken wood pieces from the door.

Cas touched Dean’s forehead with two fingers, healing all the little scratches and making the pain disappear. Dean’s fingers closed around Cas’ wrist.

‘’Thanks Cas.’’ He gave a little squeeze and let Cas move his hand to haul him up.

“The kids?”

“They were okay, I told them about the things that are real out there, they promised not to tell anyone.”

“You didn't tell them about you, right? I think they had enough emotions for one day.” Cas chuckled.

“No, I didn't.”

“You are a great hunter, Cas.” Cas beamed under the praise.

“I had a great teacher.”

“And handsome too.” Cas tapped his chin with a finger.

“ Yeah, I guess Sam is a handsome man.” Dean punched his shoulder lightly.

“You are the worst, come on, let's go back before someone hear us here and call the police.” He said with mocked anger in his tone, wrapping an arm around Cas’ shoulders shaking him lightly before releasing him and leading the way to the car.

They drove in silent for a while, a too big space between them in the seat, the tension was back at full force now that they didn’t have the case to focus on, hanging heavy in the air, Cas turned his head a couple times, looking for the right words, Dean did the same, knuckles white as he gripped the wheel tightly. Neither said a single word.

Without a warning Dean stopped the car and parked on the side of the road.

‘’Dean, what are you doing?’’

‘’We have to talk.’’ Cas laughed softly, amused at Dean's sudden outburst.

‘’I think you could have waited for us to get to the motel.’’

‘’No, I’m tired of waiting, knowing our luck something will happen there and we won’t be able to talk.’’ Like a forgotten key, a fire, or a flood, something always in the way between them.

‘’Okay, Dean.’’

Silence, Cas was going to give Dean all the time he needed, that they both needed, to clear their heads and look for the right words to say.

‘’I meant it, okay?’’ He blurted out.’’ I meant the kiss, and what I told you, I regret not having kiss you back when I came back, and I regret it took us so long to talk about this. I, god, Cas, I want this, I want to be with you.’’ Cas launched forwards when Dean was done, thinking about the great effort Dean just made for him, wrapping his arms around Dean, hiding his face against the curve of his neck, he only held Dean tighter when the other man hugged him back and rested his cheek on the top of his head. After a beat Cas pulled away a few inches, he looked up.

‘’I’ve wanted this for so long, Dean, that’s why I kissed you, I was relieved that you were alive, of course, but suddenly the hope was back, the possibility of telling you everything I should have told you before you had to say goodbye. I want this too, I want to be with you Dean, more than anything.’’ He moved slowly, pecking Dean on the lips before going back to his previous position. He couldn’t help the wide grin on his face, Dean feeled the same way he did, he felt the need to pinch at his arms, even if he didn’t need to sleep, to see if this was all a dream, too good to be true.

‘’I was so scared, I was scared of you telling me that it was too late, that I should’ve kissed you when I had the chance, I’m scared now too, ‘cause we never seem to be lucky enough, I don’t want to hurt you Cas, I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize what a mess I am, that this between you and me is not worth it.’’ Cas tightened his arms around him.

‘’We’ve seen the best and the worst of each other Dean, I’m still surprised I always find you next to me, all the good inside you, all the light, it’s stronger than the bad.’’ He lowered his voice then. ‘’I’m scared too, Dean, but I know that the chance of happiness is out there for us, and that as long as we are together it will be fine. I know it will be worth the fear. ‘’He made a pause, finally moving away from Dean, but holding one of his hands with both his own. Dean looked down at their joined hands, then at Cas, smiling softly.’’I know what you mean, about our lives, about our fate, but Dean, no matter what, we have always been there for each other, no matter the mistakes, the pain, we deserve some peace too, we will go slowly, one step at a time, there is no need to rush, let’s just see what happens next.’’ Dean nodded a couple times.

‘’I would love that, Cas.’’

They were there for a while, just staring, trying to soak up everything that had happened that night between them.

‘’We should go back to the motel, I’m beaten.’’ Dean’s voice was barely audible, like he feared he was going to break the peace of the moment between them.

‘’Yeah, we should, the room has a bathtub.’’ Dean laughed, Cas didn’t understand what was so funny about his newly found appreciation for baths. Dean started the car again.

‘’As long as you let me some water for a shower.’’

‘’Or you could join me.’’ The moment the words were out of his mouth Cas looked at Dean horrified at his own boldness. “Only if you want to, of course.’’ Dean nodded, his gaze focused on the road ahead.

“I think I would like that.” His voice came out a little bit strained when he finally spoke.

 

And twenty minutes later there were them, Cas was already in the tub, Dean was standing in the middle of the bathroom, he wanted to do it, it looked really nice, and he knew Cas wasn’t going to be mad at him if he decided to take a shower alone instead.

‘’You really don’t mind if I join you?’’ Cas simply shook his head, trying to fold his legs a bit more to make room for Dean in the bathtub. Dean looked down at his boxers, not that he felt conscious about his body, but the moment his fingers reached the elastic of his underwear he couldn’t make a move, it was a really big step for both of them, even if this wasn’t anything sexual yet, this kind of intimacy was a big step.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Dean, you can tell me, this is new for both of us, you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with.” Dean tried really hard not to try and understand why being like this with Cas had him losing his cool, he had always been really good at the flirting business, maybe it was because it wasn't just flirting, what was starting there wasn't just a one night stand, and he didn't want it to be, this wasn't a simple one time thing, this was complicated and chaotic, new and terrifying and wonderful, all at the same time.

“Thanks Cas, it's okay, really.’’ He added the last part when Cas raised an eyebrow at him. “I've never seen you this naked without a bunch of bees around you.” Cas laughed at that.

“They thought your reaction was really funny.” Dean shook his head, their life was crazy. ‘’I remind you I rebuilt your body, I doubt there is something I haven’t seen yet Dean.’’

‘’Maybe I’ve gotten a tattoo on my ass since then.’’ Cas just chuckled again, but Dean guessed he was right, he took the boxers off and entered the tub, maneuvering, because that was a tight fit for two grown men, but letting out a relaxed sigh when the hot water calmed his tired muscles. He looked at Cas once he was settled, the angel had his eyes closed, head leaned against the wall. He cracked one eye open when he heard Dean laugh.

‘’What?’’ Dean took a moment to answer, laughing loudly, wiping at his eyes.

‘’Nah, it’s silly.’’ Cas’ other eye opened, he waited, Dean only kept laughing.’’I was going to say this tub is a little bit too tiny, and then, ‘’ more laughs, at one point Cas joined him( but mostly because Dean bumped his head against the wall when he threw his head back, rubbing at the spot, all of that still laughing),’’I just imagined your trueform trying to fit in this lil’ tub, just like what a foot, a toe?’’ Cas laughed louder then, in that way that wrinkled his nose and that Dean loved so much.

Slowly, they both calmed down, their nerves finally settling down, Dean’s reached for one of Cas’ knees, patting softly, Cas covered his hand with his own.

And in that moment, in that motel of a little town there were just them, taking a bath together, talking about nothing and everything, the world outside forgotten for a while.

‘’Don’t think is much warm water left but we should rinse off and go to bed.’’ They both got up, Cas opened the faucet and they tried to get rid of the soap as fast as possible, not being quick enough to avoid the hit of cold water. They dried up in silence, not bothering to put on more clothes than a pair of clean underwear.

That was how they stood for minutes in front of the two beds.

‘’We don’t have to, you know, you can sleep alone if you want to.’’ Dean waited for Cas typical reminder of how he didn’t need to sleep.

“We said we were going to take things slowly.” Even him, with his usual lack of knowledge in human customs and boundaries understood that sharing a bed for just sleeping was a big step for Dean, even if they had shared beds during hunts before, it wasn't the same. Dean finally nodded and, with a mumbled good night and a light kiss to Cas’ cheek, walked to his bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling, Cas did the same, reaching to turn off the lights, seeing how hard Dean was gripping the sheets, knuckles white.

Dean was sure only five minutes had passed since they turned the lights off, but he knew he wasn’t going to get any sleep like that. He got up, walking in the dark until his legs hit the edge of Cas’ bed.

‘’Screw it, scoot over, Cas.’’ He heard rather than saw Cas shuffling around and lied down on the free side of the bed. There was an empty space between their bodies, waiting for one of them to make a movement, the mattress dipped lightly as Cas moved to get closer to Dean, curling into his side.

‘’Is this okay?’’ Dean only answer was to put his arms around Cas to bring him closer.

He murmured his good night before sleep claimed him, lulled by the warmth of Cas’ skin under his fingertips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you understand that '' this is the opposite of a slow burn '' tag, hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing this fic. Thanks for reading! ❤


	3. I call it magic when I'm with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the one were things get, ehem, interesting *awkward wink*

_And if you were to ask me_   
_After all that we've been through_   
_Still believe in magic?_   
_Well yes, I do._

**Coldplay - Magic.**

 

The next morning found them wrapped loosely around each other, Cas was awake for a while before Dean roused, still trying to wrap his mind around everything that happened the night before, trying really hard to believe he deserved all of this, that he deserved Dean corresponding his feelings.

He kept his eyes closed, focusing his other senses in everything that surrounded them.

He could hear the birds outside, just like the morning before, but oh so different at the same time; he could hear a car parking too, the sound of someone opening and closing the trunk of their car, a little child crying, all those sounds clear to him but muted by Dean’s heartbeat, low and steady, beating right under Cas’ ear, and by Dean’s deep breathing.

Cas took a deep breath then, the smell of fabric softener from the sheets and the blankets around them flooded his nose, there was the fragrance of the flowers on a little flower pot outside their window too, the distant smell of coffee, probably from the room next door. But nothing made Cas feel warmer, nothing made him feel a pleasant tingle in his chest, than those scents he identified with Dean, the ones that made him feel at home, the soft traces of the motel soap they used last night, the hint of leather from the impala, and what was uniquely Dean, fresh air and sunshine and the feeling of driving down a highway with the windows rolled down.

Then there was the touch, the usual roughness of the sheets and blankets of all motels, nothing new to him, all overcome by the pure electricity he could feel in each point where his naked skin met Dean's, their legs tangled together, Cas’ head on Dean’s chest, Dean’s arms wrapped around him, the warmth of Dean’s body so close to his making him snuggle closer.

Cas smiled softly when Dean stirred, one of his hands reaching to tangle his fingers in Cas’ hair.

“Morning, Cas.”

“Good morning, Dean.” Cas finally opened his eyes, looking up to stare at Dean, who was looking down at him in return, eyelids half opened a soft smile on his face to answer the one Cas had on his lips.

He wanted to never forget this moment, this little motel room, the soft glow of sunlight softening Dean’s features, making his green eyes sparkle.

Dean dipped his head down to leave a brief kiss on Cas’ lips. He yawned widely and made a move to leave the bed, Cas tried to hide his disappointment, he didn’t want the moment to be over so fast, they didn’t have anywhere to be yet, unless Dean wanted to leave now to go back to the bunker.

‘’I need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be back in a minute.’’ He must had seen something in Cas’ face that made him say those words.’’I know you, Cas, I don’t need your cool angelic powers to read your mind.’’ Cas shook his head watching Dean as he got up, stretching, and made his way to the bathroom. Cas reached for his phone, reading the news, he was so focused he didn’t notice Dean had left the bathroom and come back.

‘’See something for us?’’

‘’No, I don’t think so.’’

‘’Good, there is no need for us to hurry then.’’ Dean laid down again, facing Cas, he took the phone out of Cas’ hand and, after leaving it on his bedside table, he lifted a hand, settling it over Cas’ cheek. Cas covered it with his own.

They slowly approached each other, meeting in the center of the bed and tangling their legs together, Dean kissed Cas again, and again, both of them letting their hands wander freely over warm skin. Dean slowly moved until Cas’ back was pressed to the mattress, covering his body with his own.

Things got heated between them pretty soon, the kisses they were sharing turning deeper and more passionate, hands moving desperately over all the skin they could reach, like they were trying to make up for years of wanting in just a second . Dean moved back for a second, staring at Cas, smiling at the disheveled look on the man beneath him, his hair even messier than it usually was in the morning, lips parted and a hint of red in his cheeks, Dean guessed he looked exactly like him.

“What happened to take things slowly, hum?’’ Dean joked, but his voice trembled, totally out of breath. Cas only answer to that was to tighten the grip his legs had around Dean’s waist, pulling their bodies impossibly closer.

“You can't imagine how much I have always wanted this,’’ he cradled Dean’s face,’’ how much I want it, you can't imagine how many times I have daydreamed with the possibility of being like this with you, Dean, of touching each other until our hands get tired.” One of the things Dean had always liked about Cas was his honesty, for the good and the bad things, and his sometimes funny lack of filter, but right in that moment his words stopped his breathing, they made his heart skip a beat, he looked for the right words to say, Cas left him speechless, so he did the next best thing he could think of, diving in again for another kiss.

“Yeah Cas, I can imagine it.” He finally said. It was true, he could imagine what Cas had said, he understood, because he felt the same way.

Cas lifted his head to kiss Dean again. He moaned when Dean's hand closed lightly over his still covered erection, he moved his hips towards the touch while one of his hands made its way towards Dean's underwear.

“Wait, wait.”

“What's wrong?” Cas sounded worried for a second.

“It's okay,” Dean hushed him, feeling Cas relax a bit in his arms,”we need, I have some lube in my bag.” Cas closed his eyes and in Dean's hand appeared the little bottle he kept in his bag.

“Nice trick, Cas.”

“Come on, Dean. “ Dean laughed lowly at that.

‘’So bossy.’’ He kissed him again, the heat still present in their touches, but both of them slowing down then, the rush to touch and to feel each other replace by the desire of enjoy this moment, of making it last forever. Dean lifted his weight on one hand, hovering over Cas, his other hand stroked down Cas’ side until his fingers traced lightly the waistband of Cas’ blue boxers.’’Think we should get you out of this.’’ Cas only nodded,raising his hips to help Dean take the piece of clothing off.

‘’You too.’’Without another word Dean got rid of Cas’ underwear, tossing it aside, and did the same with the briefs he was wearing.

Dean looked down then, drinking in the sight in front of him, he couldn’t remember how many times he had imagined this, to have Cas like this. He quickly lost count, likely a million times, since those first movements, between them that electricity,  those sparks that made him dreamt with blue eyes and messy dark hair, that made him imagined how Cas would look, how he would sound like this. And, at first, that was all he felt, that sexual tension between them, but then it happened, Cas made his way inside of him, looking for his place in his heart, his feeling for his best friend turning into something different, both calmer and stronger, it surprised him at first, then he simply accepted it, and to know now, that Cas felt the same, he couldn’t be happier. And during all those years, in every step of the way that lead them were they were in that moment, kissing like the world was going to end the very next day, the attraction he felt for Cas, that warm and pleasant feeling he felt at the bottom of his stomach, never disappeared, his desire to have Cas like he had him in that exact moment, if only, grew stronger with each passing day, and he was going to enjoy every second, and never forget about something so breathtaking as the sight in front of his eyes.

Nothing, anything he could have imagined or dreamt, made Cas any justice.

Cas’ eyes roamed over Dean’s body in return, he swallowed, smiling a bit when his eyes met Dean’s again.

Dean moved his hand over Cas’ stomach, feeling him tremble lightly, Dean lowered his head, leaving some kisses all over Cas’ clavicle, moving up slowly when Cas bared his neck for him,relishing in the little sighs Cas was letting out . He reached for the bottle of lube, shifting so he was supporting his body on his elbow,in a way his then free hand could help him open the bottle and pour some of the lube in his palm, he searched for Cas’ eyes, only seeing want in them, blue almost drowned by black.

‘’Tell me if it’s too much,tell me what you like Cas, what you want, I want you to feel good.’’ They had a long way ahead of them, to learn all about the other, Dean was euphoric when he thought about all the possibilities, about everything tomorrow could bring.

‘’Dean, I, just, touch me.’’ One of his hands was splayed over Dean’ shoulder blade, keeping him in place, his thumb caressing the nape of his neck, the other was over the shoulder where Dean used to have the mark of Cas’ hand, gripping tightly as he wanted to leave his print on Dean’s skin again.

Dean sneaked his hand between their bodies slowly, shifting his hips and closing his hand around both their erections, groaning at the same time Cas let out a strangled moan. He started moving his hips, encouraging Cas when he did the same.

No, nothing could do this moment any justice, any dream, any passing thought, nothing could ever feel like this.

‘’I’m going to, I’m, I’m really close, Dean.’’

‘’Right there with you, Cas.’’ The movements of his hand only sped up, the rhythm of their hips becoming errating. Dean captured Cas’ lips in a kiss, both of them having to part too soon, gasping for air, Dean nibbled at Cas’ bottom lip.

Cas tensed under him then when his orgasm hit him, Dean couldn’t do anything but stare, mesmerized by the way he threw his head back with a groan, eyes glowing blue for a second before he shut them tightly, just a glimpse of all the power, stardust and millions of years, millions of stories, the body trembling beneath his contained.

‘’So beautiful, Cas.’’

“Dean.” That simple word, mixed with the sight of Cas, pushed Dean towards his own release, he had heard his name fall from Cas’ lips so many times, with worry, appreciation, recognition, fear, just four letters filled with so many things it made Dean's head spin, but not like that, never like that, in a pleasured rough voice, with wonder and adoration, he wanted to hear it again, and again, he wanted to never forget it, never forget this moment, he wanted it to be only for him, he didn't want anyone outside this little room to hear it.

Dean flopped down on his back, breathing heavily, he picked up one of their pairs of underwear to clean the mess they had made, trying really hard not to laugh when, the moment he was done, Cas wrapped his arms around him, leaving a trail of kisses that started in his jaw and finished in his temple.

‘’We should clean up, then we can go get something for breakfast.’’ Neither of them moved from the spot and it was only half hour later, when Dean’s stomach growled, that Dean sat up, ready to leave the bed. ''Come on, Cas.’’ Cas looked even grumpier than most morning at the idea of leaving the bed, Dean didn’t really wanted to get up either, but he was hungry.

‘’But where are we going? There is only the place where Randy works here.’’ Dean was already up when Cas spoke, he turned around to give him an amused look.

‘’Aww, Cas, I knew you were jealous.’’ He only could laugh when he got a pillow to his face.

For both great relief that day Randy wasn’t working at the only dinner in town.

 

They stayed at the motel for one more night, with the excuse of making sure the ghost was gone( “I thought you were pretty sure it was gone.” “Shuddup Cas!”), enjoying those first moment together, not ready yet to tell anyone about them.

“We should go back home soon.’’ They were watching a movie when Dean spoke, his head was on Cas’ lap and the way the angel’s fingers were scratching at his temple, plus a belly full of food, were lulling him to sleep, now that they had got over those awkward first stages they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, he was glad they were there, alone, even if it was just for a while. Cas only hummed his agreement, if Sam and Eileen needed them they would have phoned them, they both were sure they were only giving them some time to be alone together.’’ I miss my bed, man.’’He thought then that maybe it could be theirs from now on.

As on cue Dean's phone started ringing from its place on the little table by the sofa before Cas could speak again. He was able to hear Sam's voice from the other side of the line.

“Hey Dean, is everything alright? Thought you were going to come back once you had solve the case.”

“Hey Sam, yeah, yeah, don't worry, everything is okay, we just took a little holiday, everything okay there?”

“Yes,” he made a pause, maybe looking for something to say about their holidays,” Eileen has left to take care of a case and some personal things, but she will come back soon.” Cas gave Dean a look, the face Dean was making, getting ready to torture his brother, disappeared.

It was during the phone call when Cas felt it, the usual low murmuring of angel voices he got when he tuned in to listen, going crazy for a moment, too loud, a dull pain settling in the back of his head.

“Hey Cas, you okay?” The warmth of Dean's palm against his face made him focus again, brought him back to reality, realising Dean had already hung up the phone and that was probably trying to talk with him. He nodded, still trying to understand something of everything the voices were saying at the same time.

He paused for a second, but he knew he didn't want to hide anything from Dean, secrets had brought enough troubles in the past, and anyway he didn't even know if there was something going on in Heaven.

“There is something going on with angel radio.” He finally said, Dean sat up at that, sending him a questioning look.’’I don’t know what is happening.”

‘’Thought you weren’t listening anymore.’’

‘’I usually don’t, but we can’t just ignore them, if something big happens and we don’t know anything about it, it could be fatal.’’ Information, yes, Dean nodded, Cas was telling the truth of course, but he didn’t admite out loud that he wasn't ready to just let go yet, turn his back to Heaven, even if deep down he knew they wouldn’t want him back.

‘’Maybe it’s just nothing.’’ He didn’t sound too sure, but Dean was clearly trying to comfort Cas.

‘’Yes, you are probably right, I’ll keep an ear on them.’’ Dean nodded his agreement, the volume of the voices got lower then, merely a whisper, almost going silent.

“We should come back to the bunker, Cas.”  He shook his head. He didn't want to leave yet, he was enjoying this time alone with Dean so much.

“It's okay, it's silent again. It was probably nothing.” Dean moved, lowering his legs from the sofa arm, he put an arm around Cas’ shoulders, leaving a lingering kiss on his temple, his hand rubbing soothingly at his arm.

‘’Hey, do you want to go for a walk?  We can go to that little cinema we passed in our way back from the house the other night if you want.” Dean said after a beat.

‘’I would like that very much, Dean.’’ A little fresh air would make him good.

He tried to focus on the film once they were there, but he couldn’t, the pain had disappeared completely and there was silence again, only a couple voices from time to time not saying anything important, Dean was probably right, and he was worrying for nothing.

The next day they woke up early, packed everything they had brought with them and left the little town. The trip wasn't too long but he took his chance to read for a while, half focused on the pages in front of him, half focused on Dean, on the memories of their morning together, on the way he sang along to the songs on the radio, giving Cas random facts about songs and singers and bands from time to time, on the way he slowly raised a hand to touch his thigh, Cas’ covering his hand with his own.

“We should stop soon, Dean, you need to rest and eat something.”

“Yeah, we need to refill the tank too.”

They chose a dinner half an hour later, one with a big sign of a sun that read ‘welcome’  and they were lucky enough to find a free table even if the parking lot in front of it was packed.

Cas read the menu while he waited Dean to come back from the bathroom, he looked around, he felt like he was being watched for a second, when he scanned the place, without finding anything out of place, he spotted Dean, moving towards him through the crowd, smiling at him, he smiled back, relaxing a bit, Dean stopped for a second, bending down to pick a crayon a little girl with pigtails in her hair had thrown to the floor by accident, getting a bright thank you back, she showed him her drawing, laughing when Dean high - fived her before walking away.

They ordered once Dean had sat down in front of Cas, nudging Cas’ foot with his own, and ignoring the look Cas sent him and his burguer. He gave it a bite, groaning.

“This is great, come on, Cas, you have to try it!.’’ Cas decided to humor Dean, he didn’t need to eat but he could turn off that part of his grace to be able to taste the food. He took a bite of the burguer Dean was offering him, moving it around his mouth, pensative, while Dean stared at him waiting for his verdict.

‘’It taste like molecules,  Dean.’’ he deadpanned, Dean rolled his eyes at him but laughed.’’ It’s good, but I still prefer the ones you cook.’’ Dean smiled shyly at the table, Cas thought there were few things more adorable that seeing Dean like that, a little bit flushed, he also thought Dean deserved to hear more nice things. Dean laughed again when he looked up to stare at Cas, he reached out with his hand, swiping at the corner of Cas’ mouth with his thumb.

“You had ketchup there.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Dean smiled a little bit, resuming his eating.

Cas raised his mug to take a sip of his coffee, but he stopped mid-air, gripping the handle tightly, when he peered outside the wide glass window they were sat next to.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” Castiel didn't avert his gaze from the woman outside to answer.

“There is an angel outside, Dean.”

 


	4. I will be there standing by your side.

 

 

_If you ever need someone to cry to_  
_If you ever need someone to hold you_

_I will be there_  
_Standing by your side_

_If you ever need someone_  
_To just love you_  
_If you ever need someone_  
_To simply adore you._  

**I Will be there - Odessa.**

 

‘’There is an angel outside, Dean.’’

He stood then, ready to go outside, only stopped by Dean’s hand closing around his wrist.

“Cas, wait, what are you going to do?” Dean looked a bit calmer when Cas seemed to think about.

“I'm going outside and talk to her, nothing else, I need to know what they want, what brought them here.” Dean nodded, loosening his grip and getting up too.

“I’m going with you.” Cas was going to argue but the stubbornness on Dean's face told him he wasn't going to be able to convince him of staying back.

“Okay.” Cas turned, walking to the door while Dean let the money on the table and followed Cas.

Castiel opened the door, stomping towards the angel. Dean suddenly gripped Cas’ forearm, forcing him to stop walking.

‘’Cas, man, we gotta be careful, we don’t know what they want from you, and this isn’t the best place for an angel fight.’’ He didn’t anyone to freak out, he didn’t want anyone to be hurt and, more than anything, he didn’t want the weight of another dead angel on Cas’ shoulders. Castiel relaxed a bit, breathing deeply and reaching out to pat Dean's hand softly.

''I know, Dean.” He spoke with his gaze still focused on the woman, her eyes following Cas’ hand, observing their movements with close attention.

‘’Castiel.” She spoke up when they got close enough. ''We need to talk.” Cas crossed his arms over his chest, comforted by Dean’s warm presence by his side, but still worried, his mind reeling, wondering what  Heaven could want from him now.

“We are listening.” Cas wondered if she was going to ask Dean to leave, if this was a conversation they didn’t want a simple human to hear. But she didn’t say anything, maybe she knew there was no way Dean was going to leave Cas alone to face the unknown.

“We should go somewhere else.” She looked around at all the humans at earshot around them. Neither Dean nor him made a movement to leave the their spots. ‘’It’s important.’’ She said with more urgency in her voice, and Cas believed her, the angels didn't come to Earth for nothing. Cas sent a glance in Dean’s way, they were two, and as far as he could see, she was only one, but, no, he wasn’t going to kill anyone, he wasn’t going to hurt her. Dean gave him a little nod, they needed to know what was happening.

‘’Okay.’’ She nodded, gesturing with a hand for them to follow.

They walked behind her until they were in the alley at the back of the dinner.

‘’What made you come here?’’

‘’We need help, Castiel, we aren’t much left and there's something, someone, killing angels.”

“That's what I heard yesterday on angel radio, right?”

“We found two bodies.”

“You don't know who or why?” She shook her head, her long blonde hair moving around with the movement. ''What do you think I can do?”

“We need all the help we can get, Castiel.” It made sense, he still didn't trust her or her intentions though, but by the way angel radio went crazy she wasn't lying, at least not completely. ‘’You can help us solve this.’’

‘’I don’t think I will be welcomed in Heaven.’’

‘’You don’t need to go there yet, you can help us here, maybe come back to Heaven later, if the murderer is there.’’ Castiel wasn’t convinced about the story, but he couldn’t just ignore an ask for help, he knew how few angels were left, if they were being killed soon they would all be gone. And if whatever, or whoever, was killing them was specifically targing angels he was surely on the list too.

He looked at Dean, in his eyes he saw the same doubts he was feeling, but something told him Dean wasn’t going to stop him if he wanted to help, he even would offer himself to help solve this situation too, because this wasn't good news for anyone.

Cas gave him a light nod that Dean answered with one of his own, Cas was thankful for how easy it was for them to communicate without words.

He looked at the angel again, but a flutter of wings signaled the arriving of another angel before Castiel could give her a reply.

‘’Good job, Azariel, you have found him, now Castiel, are you going to behave and come with us or am I going to need to use force to take you back to Heaven?” Force? Dean looked at him, looking just as confused as Cas was feeling.

“What?” Castiel stared at Azariel, who was in turn staring at the man besides her with exasperation. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“Oh brother, don't make a scene.”

“You told me I wasn’t going to have to go back to Heaven yet, what is happening?” He stared the angels down. ''I demand an explanation.” And for a second he was a commander again.

“You didn't tell him?”

“I don't have much patience, don't say I didn't warn you.” Both angels turned their heads to look at him again.

“You will come to Heaven with us to be judge for all your crimes, past and present. You will pay for your betrayals, for all the death and all the pain you had brought to Heaven, Castiel.” He wasn't surprised, they wanted him to pay his debt, it was fair, but it also came in a moment he wasn't expecting it to.

“Why now?”

“Don't lie, Castiel, you know what you have done.” He huffed at the face Castiel made then. “You are going to tell me you don't know anything about the two dead angels?” He continued, not giving Castiel any chance to deny his accusations.” We have a witness, Castiel, other angel saw you killing our brothers.”

‘’What? No!’’ Dean said before Cas could reply, not that the angels paid him any attention anyway.

“You lied to me.” Castiel looked at Azariel. ''I don't know what the angel said, but it's not true.” His words were clearly not having any effect, both the angels took out their blades.

‘’I just wanted to see if you would confess your crimes, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to take you back to Heaven with us, but if you thought you were helping, that we didn’t know that you are guilty, you would have come along with us, thinking that you could trick us.’’

‘’You weren’t even going to ask me for my version of the story.’’ He got his blade ready too, he didn’t want this encounter to end up like this, but, what else could he do? They weren’t going to listen to him.

‘’Like I said, we have a witness, Castiel. And what is your version anyway? That you were here with that human?’’ he pointed at Dean's direction with his blade, but still not looked at him, '' we are not going to believe what a human has to say. Even less a Winchester, the ones that made you turn your back to Heaven.’’ With those last words he launched forwards, charging against Castiel.

The defying sound of their blades meeting in the air filled the alley, after a moment of tussle, Castiel got hold of the fight, making his opponent throw his blade towards the trash can, not without getting a cut to his cheek first, he kicked the angel in front of him, tossing him against the brick wall behind him.

Azariel was quick to attack too, distracting him while the other angel pick up his blade again, she cut him near his wrist, his blade falling to the floor.

‘’Okay Castiel, it’s time to go.’’ He was going to surrender, there was nothing he could do right now, if he accepted and left without any more resistance he might get the angels to promise to leave Dean alone, he couldn't even look at him again, this couldn't be happening, he couldn't say goodbye this soon; when he heard Dean’s voice in his head, ‘ _Go, Cas, fly as far as you can, come on._ ’ it told him, he didn’t want to leave Dean alone, he couldn’t do that, but he also knew that Dean probably had a plan, the urgent tone in his voice telling him he could trust him. ‘ _Come on, Cas_.’

As soon as Cas was gone with a flutter of wings Dean pressed his bloody palm against the sigil in the wall, banishing the two confused angels standing in front of him.

Dean made his way back to the car, pressing his hand to his t-shirt, ignoring the look people on the way there were sending him, he was ready to call Cas or pray to him so he could know that the coast was clear for the moment, but he was already leaning against the impala, and Dean would have told him something about it if it wasn’t because he looked like he needed to support himself, he looked dizzy but in one piece. Dean walked towards him without a word, stopping when he was in front of him.

‘’Thank you, Dean.’’

‘’They shouldn’t despise humans like that.’’

‘’It’s one of the things I’ve learned from you, even if I had always known your kind is one to be feared and taken in consideration.’’Cas’ voice was breathy, he raised a hand, pressing his fingertips to Dean’s forehead.

‘’You don’t have to do that, it’s nothing.’’ But he didn’t listen, Dean felt a warm rush down his arm, the sting in his hand dying out. He was thankful for his quick reflexes, because in a second he had an armful of angel. ‘’Are you okay?’’

‘’I just need some rest.’’ Dean maneuvered to open the door and help Cas inside the car, he made his way to the driver door, keeping an eye on Cas, who was leaning against the window, eyes closed.

They were silent the whole way back, Dean’s mind circling around everything that happened, he knew Cas wasn’t guilty, he had been with them all the time, and no, Castiel wasn’t going to just leave one day to go kill angels without a reason, this was a trap, and they probably had all Heaven looking for them now, but he wasn’t going to let them get Cas. All the possibilities, all they could do to him, kill him, reset him, make him forget, Dean was starting to feel sick, he couldn’t let them lay a finger on Cas.

Dean woke up Cas somewhere along the way, making sure he was feeling a bit better, he stayed awake the rest of the way, quiet and looking out the window.

They bunker was empty when they finally got there, Sam had left them a note on the war room table, Dean left his bag on the floor to pick it up, reading it out loud, it said they had left on a hunt, nothing too big, they were going to be back soon.

Dean texted him, he told them to come back as soon as possible, they had to talk about something important, Cas simply watched him in silence, Dean was going crazy at Cas’ calm, at least in facade.

When Sam and Eileen came back a couple hours later, rushed by Dean's urgent message, they hadn't move much, only to carry their bags to their rooms, a heavy silence between them; Dean told them everything about what happened back in that dinner, Cas left without a word when Dean was done, Dean followed, he found him in his room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Dean simply crouched down in front of him, covering Cas’ hands with his own.

“Cas.” Nothing.

Dean closed his fingers over Cas’ chin and lifted his head gently, forcing Cas to look at him.

“We will find a solution, we always do.” He wanted to believe Cas was worried about the imminent threat from Heaven, but there was more,  both of them knew all the angels had said had reopened all those old wounds from that never were truly healed, memories flowing free.

“I just wanted to be with you,” his voice barely a whisper “ I want them to leave us alone, Dean. I don't want them to hurt you, or Sam, or Eileen.” His expression told Dean he was starting to really feel the weight of what had happened, the fact angels weren't going to stop until they had him. I don't want them near us, ready to destroy what we just got, he seemed to want to add, Dean didn't need him to say it, he was feeling the same way, because they never got a rest or peace. All the fear he was feeling about the big step they just took was amplified now, because it all was so new, they couldn't lose it so fast, and they couldn't lose each other, not now. Dean nodded to himself, they would have to fight harder this time around.

“We are going to fight tooth and nail then, I think we deserve some peace. You deserve your freedom and your life, Castiel, you are not worth any less than them.”

‘’I should go back there then, Dean! I should go to Heaven, tell them it wasn’t me, Dean I have to do something.’’ Dean almost fell back when Cas got up without a warning, stepping to the door.

“No.” He was quick to grab Cas’ arm, stopping him.”You can't go there, that's what they want!” He held Cas’ arm tightly, making Cas turn around so he was facing him, he put his arms around the angel, pulling him closer. Cas held him back just as tightly. ''If you go there right now, Cas,” he was talking more quietly now, fear filling every word he said, ''you won't come back.”

“Maybe is what I deserve, Dean.”

‘’Don’t say that.’’

‘’It’s the truth.’’

‘’What are you going to do? Let them kill you with a petty excuse? You think that will give you and them peace, forgiveness? What we should do is look for the one who is killing angels, Cas. Prove them you still want good for them, don't go and die like you are the criminal here.”

If Cas wanted to say something, to argue back again, he didn't, he just let Dean hug him for a while, basking in all the comfort Dean was offering and that he didn't think he deserved. Because maybe he didn't commit those crimes they wanted to charge him with, but all the rest, everything else, he did and there was no way to believe otherwise. But, maybe Dean was right, he could prove them he wanted to help, that despite the past and the mistakes, he didn't want to see how Heaven destroyed itself.

Cas let his forehead rest against the spot where Dean's neck met his shoulder, his shoulders slumped.

“What are we going to do then, Dean?” His voice was a whisper now. “Hide?”

“I don't know, Cas.” Cas was thankful for his honesty. “We will stay here for now, investigate the crimes, see if we can find information on our own. We aren't going to just be hand in hand without doing anything.”

Cas didn't say anything else, both getting lost in their own thoughts.

They didn't know for how long they stayed there, but too soon for Cas Dean moved back, leaning in to kiss Cas’ lips lightly. He was going to kiss back when Sam cleared his throat behind them. They both moved their heads to look at him, this wasn't the way they wanted to tell him, and none of them were in the mood for big celebrations right then, but something in Sam’s knowing expression, told them both he was glad they had finally solved everything between them.

“Is everything okay?” Castiel thought that maybe he had raised his voice a little too much. He took a deep breath, nodding. “Cas, man,” Sam pat his shoulder, ''we will make things right. We have your back.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

He had his family with him, he wasn't alone on this, he felt a little bit better.

 

* * *

 

Weeks went by, or maybe it was only days, it was difficult to know with little sleep and with the helpless feeling of running in circles, they hadn't hear anything else from Heaven, their quest to find that witness proved to be an impossible mission, maybe just a little bit more difficult than trying to contact any other angel. They didn't even know where the dead angels were found, it could be Heaven, or it could be in Earth, nothing on the news, they asked Jody too, to keep an eye on it, but, after asking around, she couldn't do much but wish them good luck and tell them to ask for any more help the may need.

Dean had nightmares every night, too; the one he was having that night was the worse, Cas always dying in front of him, no matter how much he rushed to help him, to do anything, he was always too late.

There was a blinding blue light, then nothing, silence, he unshield his eyes and there was Cas, dead on the floor in front of him.

They were alone, no matter how much he screamed, how much he jostled Cas, he was gone.

He heard a voice then, calling his name, with worry and urgency, he felt a hand gripping his left shoulder tightly and suddenly he was in his room again, Cas’ blue eyes staring at him, a feeling of wetness on his cheeks.

“Dean.” Cas lifted his hand, wiping away the tears. ''Breathe. It's okay.” No, it wasn't okay, but Cas was still there, alive. He tried to breathe, calming down and going back to a restless sleep, it was probably still too early to get up and anyway he didn't want to go out of bed to feel completly helpless without anything to do, once he had wrapped his around Cas to bring him down against his body, basking in his warmth.

Castiel kissed Dean’s forehead before getting up, careful not to jostle and wake the other man, Dean needed to sleep, Cas hated seeing him like that, the dark shadows under his eyes, but this really wasn't being easy for any of them.

He sighed, stretching before leaving the room. Dean’s room. He asked him to move to his room with him, only if he wanted to , he told him it was okay if he wasn't ready yet, Cas was so lucky to have Dean next to him, it was as easy and natural as breathing for them to give one step more, even more in those days, when all they needed was to be close and take care of each other.

He walked towards the kitchen, it was early, but Sam had probably already left for his morning run. There was no one in the kitchen, he turned on the coffee machine, remembering what Dean had told him about it, finding calm in the mechanical movements. He read the news on his phone, no more weird deaths, nothing on angel radio either, with how protected the bunker was it was probably difficult for the angels to found them, but he couldn't hide forever, and he knew it, they should go find the place those angels were killed at, he also had been trying to contact with other angels he believed he could trust, but he achieved nothing, and he didn't really know if that was what he wanted, he didn't thought he could face what he saw in the angels' eyes back in that alley again, even less from those he had served with, and he couldn't put everyone in danger attracting the attention of angels here.

A light tap on his shoulder made him come back to reality, Eileen was behind him, looking at him, worried.

'I think the coffee is ready.’ She signed. Cas nodded, realising then that the machine was beeping and that the coffee was, in fact, ready.

‘Yeah, you are right. Thank you.’

'Are you okay?’

‘Yes, I was just thinking.’ She didn't look too convinced, but she let him be, moving past him to grab their mugs and pouring some coffee in them.

'I hope you know you can talk to me, I guess there are things you don't want to tell Dean.’ See, they all liked Eileen, because Eileen was funny, and clever, and, in Dean's words, she could kick asses like a pro, and because she seemed to know them like they had known for years, always able to see past any lie and past any mask. She had this calm around her, she made them feel like they could always be honest, and never be judged.

'I know, thank you. Sam told you about us?’ He took a deep breath, raising his mug to take a sip from his still too hot coffee, he blew a little, it wasn't like he could burn his tongue, but it was a habit he had since his time as human.

‘Yes, I wasn't surprised, I haven't been around for a long time, but I have two functioning eyes and it could be seen from outer space.’ Cas laughed a bit at that. 'I think is really nice, what you guys have, for what a I know of your story it hasn't been an easy path.’ Cas shook his head.

'It was worth it.’

‘This life, isn't one of big moments and happiness, but I guess good things do happen sometimes.’ He wanted to believe there were still good things to help them keep the faith too.

'That's what you think about Sam and you too?’ He also had two functioning eyes, or even more if you counted the ones of his trueform. She shrugged a bit, suddenly really interested in a spot of the table, her cheeks suddenly a darker shade of pink.

'Maybe. Anyway,’ Cas tried not to smile, amused at the sudden need she had to change topics, ‘my offer still stands.’ Cas nodded and Eileen opened the newspaper next to her, she picked up a pen and started filling up the gaps in a sudoku.

Eileen didn't seem to want to pressure him, but it was nice to know he could talk to someone, because of course there were things he couldn't tell Dean, he was worried already, he didn't deserve any more burden on his shoulders, he would probably be angry if he knew, but Cas couldn't do it. He raised his hands, getting Eileen's attention.

‘I'm worried, I don't want Dean to suffer anymore, he has enough nightmares as it is, but I'm scared, scared of the silence, they are getting ready to attack, I'm sure, and they will go for all they know will hurt me more to get what they want. I'm not afraid of them serving my head on a silver plate, I'm afraid of them hurting Dean, or Sam or you, just to make me surrender. And, even with everything that has happened, I still want to help them, I was going to. Look, Dean is not a fan of angels, an he is right to not be, but I can't help but feel bad, there are two dead angels and they deserve justice.’

Eileen looked thoughtful for a moment.

'I'm sure Dean would understand, and do his best to comfort you, I understand why you don't want to tell him. I think you should take care of yourself too, Cas.’ She knew traces of their pasts, enough to understand why they would want to get repairment from Castiel.

‘Your life has the same value than ours, and we worry about you, and we won't let them caught you. I can't say I have met much angels, apart from you, and it took me some time to accept the fact angels were real, all I know is from you, and, even if when Dean is the one telling the story and he can't help but compliment you every five seconds, they don't look like they are like you’ Cas smiled a bit at that, shaking his head lightly, ‘ but is normal you are worried, you spent so many years there, you want them to have peace too.’

He knew all of that, of course, and what she said first was part of the problem, he didn't think he deserved any of them risking their lives for him, but he also knew the pain he was going to cause if he was gone. He didn't want to cause more death in Heaven either. It wasn't an easy situation, and, to top all of that, he shared the fear Dean had about them and their new relationship, they had been best friends for long, and that would never change, but this came in the worst moment, thearthing what was so new, what was just now blooming, between, ready to destroy it, and if before it was painful to think about the idea of losing the other, now it was even worse, so close to happiness, knowing exactly how special was to be together as something more than friendship, to kiss each other, to touch freely and without limits, to do normal things, like sharing a bed every night, together.

Sam appeared in the doorway then, breathing heavily, clearly just back from his run.

‘’Good morning.’’ He said, waving at them and smiling brightly at Eileen before disappearing down the hallway.

Eileen reached out to pat his hand before squeezing it tightly.

‘’We will do all we can, we’ll proved them you are innocent.’’ Cas simply held her hand back, smiling weakly. They were quiet for a while after that, Cas turned his head when he heard Dean coming down the hall.

‘’What are you guys doing so early, gossiping?’’ Dean walked in, coming to a halt when he was next to Cas, he signed his good morning to Eileen and rubbed his hand lightly over Cas’ shoulder blade. Cas stared up and rolled his eyes at him. He watched his back as he headed towards the coffee machine, Eileen signed to him, smirking, he couldn't help but laugh. ''What is so funny?” Dean turned, leaning against the countertop and raising his mug to drink.

“Eileen told me to tell you the truth, she was wondering if you had freckles everywhere or just on your face and she decided to ask me.”

Dean choked on the sip he was taking from his coffee. He was bright red, Eileen sent Cas an amused look.

'This the last time he ask us about what we talk about.’

“I swear this the last time I ask you two anything.” If Dean didn't believe him he didn't say anything at all, simply sitting down in the seat next to Cas’, his face still blushed, bumping his knee lightly against Cas’.

'How are you feeling?’ Dean signed slowly at Eileen, a little bit clumsy, looking at Cas after he was done, Cas nodded, letting him know he signed everything correctly, he was slowly getting better at it.

'I'm better, thanks,’ she signed slower that before then, if Dean didn't catch up something he could ask Cas anyway, he knew Eileen appreciated the effort they were making for her, ‘sometimes I forget how hard this is.’

'I agree, and I’m-’ he turned to Cas for assistance.

‘’Glad?’’ Dean nodded, looking at Cas’ hands with attention.

‘’I knew it!’’

‘I’m glad you are feeling better.’

She had left on a hunt with Sam a couple days ago, a vampire nest, nothing too big, but they were too late and couldn't save a girl, hunting was like that, you could save the day and bring someone back home so they could keep living their life, or you could be too late. At least the vampires were gone and they weren't going to hurt anyone else. Dean had told him he was glad she was around this time, he knew how hard was to face a death during a hunt alone.

Sam and her had been taking most hunts now, not safe yet for Cas to go out, and Dean didn't want to leave him alone, so they worked together there, helping Sam and Eileen whenever they went to, Cas loved seeing Dean working among books, because he always complained about researches but he was great at it, always mixing everything he had learned after years in the hunting business with all he could find in the works, proving his vast knowledge about whatever topic and beings they found in every hunt.

Sam joined them a bit later for breakfast, laughing loudly as Eileen told him what happened, Dean blushing all over again.

And like that another day went by with that feel of false calm and normality, and nothing happened, and that sinking feel in the pit of Cas’ stomach only grew stronger with the drag of hours.

That night he had to leave their room alone again, he couldn't stop thinking, he couldn't stop worrying, and he didn't want to wake up Dean. He looked for his phone and the pair of earphones Dean bought for him before slowly opening the door and heading to the kitchen.

Dean woke up suddely, feeling like he was about to throw up, sweating, the other side of the bed empty when he reached out to touch Cas, he sighed and left the room too, to look for Cas and to drink some water.

‘’Hey.’’ Dean voice was just a soft whisper, it was two am, and he didn’t want to wake up anyone. Cas didn’t seem to hear him, and when he approached he realized it probably was because of the headphones Cas was wearing, he sat down next to Cas, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, Cas took off the earphones then, leaning into Dean’s side.

‘’I didn’t mean to wake you. I kept moving around and I didn't want to bother you.’’

‘’It’s okay.’’ It wasn’t Cas who woke him up, it was a nightmare, he was having more lately, with all the tension the news of the murders were bringing to their lives, with the possibility of losing Cas. He was scared when the side of his bed Cas now occupied was empty, he couldn’t help releasing a deep relieved sigh when he saw the soft glow of the light flooding the hallway from the kitchen. ''Are you okay? You could have woken me up if you needed something. I won't force you, but you can tell me anything you need, Cas.” Cas only nodded, Dean didn’t pressure him, nobody was okay those days, but he wasn't stupid, he knew something was bothering Cas, but he would tell him when he was ready. He did all he could do until then and pressed Cas closer to his body, one of his hands combing through Cas’ hair, the faint scent of his honey shampoo from their shower together earlier reaching his nose; while the other accepted the earphone Cas offered to him, the voice of Johnny Cash greeting him.

‘’Did you have a nightmare?’’

‘’Yeah.’’ But it was fine, just a mess of memories from the mark, nothing like being forced to see Cas dying in his arms. Cas wrapped both his arms around him, they stay like that for a while, both lost in their own thoughts until Dean spoke up. ''It’s always the same, you know, a mess of images, of everything I did when I had the mark, of what I felt, the rage, that pull to the darkness, the blood, I see fear in the eyes of those I killed, I see what I almost did to Sam and you, I usually forget everything in the morning, but sometimes is,’’ he lowered his voice, “like it’s still there, on my arm, like all of this is a dream, like we didn’t get rid of it.’’

‘’All you did Dean, that wasn’t you,’’ he had heard this before, and he knew, but a reminder was always good,  “you were under the influence of the mark, and it’s gone now, you were stronger than it was. I know is difficult to let go of the past, but you aren't only your mistakes, you have done good too, you have saved so many lives.”Cas raised his hand and cupped his cheek, his thumb caressing his cheekbone. “I will remind you, everyday,  of the good in you, until you are able to see past the bad and see it too.’’ Dean didn’t say anything else, simply seeking comfort under Cas’ soft touches.

When the music changed to a known melody, Dean moved back, part of him reluctant to leave Cas’ arms, putting Cas’ phone inside the pocket of his robe and making the angel stand up too, his hand closed over Cas’ elbow, walking them both to the center of the kitchen, no matter how sappy what he was about to do was.

‘’Dean, what are you -?’’ Dean simply wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist, waiting for Cas to put his arms around his neck to start swinging slowly, pressing his forehead to Cas’. ‘’I don’t know how to dance.’’ Dean laughed softly.

‘’Doesn’t matter, you don’t need to know how to do it, what’s important it’s to just be together for a while.’’ To chase that feeling of peace, to dance in the kitchen past midnight, in their pajamas, like nothing is wrong out there, to be just Dean and Cas, a normal couple, with normal problems. They fell silent, Dean humming to the tune,’’ Mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.’’ When the song ended, they kept their arms around each other, Cas lifted his head, kissing Dean slowly.

‘’You should go back to bed and get some sleep.’’ They went back to their room, hand in hand, knowing that everything would go fine as long as they were together.

  
  



	5. There' s a bad moon on the rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: brief mentions of john a+ parenting.

_I hope you got your things together_   
_I hope you are quite prepared to die_   
_Look's like we're in for nasty weather_   
_One eye is taken for an eye._

**Creedence Clearwater Revival - Bad Moon Rising.**

‘’Dean, have you seen my blade?’’

“What?” Dean head appeared in the frame of the door.

“I can't find my angel blade.”

“Maybe is under that pile of dirty clothes you have there.” He moved to stand at the door, he was wiping his hands with a dish towel a few drops of water drying in the front of his henley, he pointed at the corner with his thumb, Cas rolled his eyes and with a snap of fingers everything was gone, Dean looked at the closet, and, yes, there was everything, clean and neatly folded.

“Nice trick.”

“No.” Cas said at the same time, his eyes focused on the now empty spot on the floor.

“Where did you see it the last time?” Cas looked thoughtful for a minute, trying to remember, Dean is sure he had it back at the motel, but that was a while ago.

‘’At the dinner, I don’t remember picking it up.’’ Dean didn’t saw him either, and he didn’t grab it either.

‘’It all was a rush, have you look in the car?’’

‘’No.’’

‘’We will find it.’’ He tried to reassure Cas, but he didn't sound to convinced himself.

He had a bad feeling about it, and by Cas’ face, he shared the bad presage too. He wondered then how they hadn’t noticed, they haven’t gone in more hunts, Sam and Eileen took care of that, and they had been so wrapped up in trying to find a solution, a way to communicate with Heaven, to make them understand Cas wasn’t guilty, they hadn’t even noticed about it being missing.

‘’I will go look there.’’ Cas’ voice stopped his train of thoughts.

‘’I will be at the library, Sam was looking for weird stuff, or anything that can point us in the directions of the murders, and for potential cases for us too.’’ He stepped back to let Cas out of the room, he held him back, taking his hand with his own to make him turn around so they could share a brief kiss before heading in different directions.

Dean stopped before he could walk into the library, though.

Sam and Eileen were talking, closer than usual. He was going to turn around and come back later, he didn't want to interrupt them, when it happened.

Sam raised his hand slowly, cupping Eileen's cheek, she smiled softly, simply covering Sam’s hand with his own.

He kissed Eileen then, watching her go as she left the room.

Dean entered once he was sure they were alone. Sam cleared his throat when he spot him.

“I haven't found anything yet.”

“Okay, Sam.” He crossed his arms over his chest. ‘’Is there something you want to tell me?’’ Sam scratched the back of his neck.

“So, you and Cas, huh?” Dean huffed.

“Really?”

“We haven't had the time to talk about it.” Dean rolled his eyes, but he decided to humor Sam.

“What do you want to talk about Sam?”

“It was about time, first of all.” Dean gave him a look. “Okay, okay,” Sam raised his hands in a placating gesture, “I'm really glad you guys talked things out-”

“We did more than talk actually.”

“TMI, Dean,” he made a face but continued, ignoring the smirk on his brother's face, “ I understand that you both needed time, and I think that you both deserve this, happiness.” Den sighed but his smile turned into something softer.

“Thank you, Sam.” He said with honesty, the traces of jest dissapering from his expression, and he knew Sam wanted to say something more, but it was enough talk about feelings for now, and more when Dean knew Sam was trying to distract him, even if he was sure all he said was true, and that he truly was happy for both of them. “So, you and Eileen?” He waggled his eyebrows at him. It was Sam's turn to roll his eyes.

“Well, yes, you saw us, didn't you?” Dean nodded. “I was going to tell you, but everything is so new and-” Dean cut off his rambling.

“Hey, Sam, it's fine, I'm really happy for you both too.” Of course he was, how couldn't him be, this life, their life, it never gave them a rest, lost, death, pain and goodbyes always hanging over their heads, waiting to cause all the harm they could. Thinking that his brother had found something so good, something he thought he wasn't going to have, to see that ilusion and hope back in Sam's face, it meant the world to Dean. After all he had seen his brother lose and suffer he could only wish the best things for him

“Thank you, Dean. I'm really happy too, Eileen is amazing and I thought, you know, that I wasn't going to feel this way again, but I was wrong and I want this to go alright.” Dean stepped closer then, patting his brother's back.

“Everything will go just fine, I'm sure.” His expression turned serious. “ You better do this right, Eileen deserves the best things.” Sam nodded.

“Are you going to give her the big brother talk too?”

“Maybe.” He turned around.

“Where are you going? I thought you told me you were going to help me here.”

“Oh, I'm going to help you, but first I'm going to tell Cas, of course.”

He marched down the hall ignoring his brother's bitching, the garage door was closed so Cas wasn't there anymore. He made his way back towards their room.

“Cas? Sweetheart?” The pet name came out from his lips easily.

“I'm here.” His voice came from one of the storage rooms. Dean followed the sound until he could see the light of the room in the hallway.

“Guess who just seems to have given a big step and now has a girlfriend.’’ He said, staring at Cas’ back, he was rummaging through the boxes, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, he didn't turned around, it was weird, well, mostly at the beggining, to see Cas like this, he looked at home, he looked like a simple man just like Dean or Sam, the way jeans looked on him more than weird were distracting as fuck too. Dean shook his head. 

‘’I hope it isn’t you, I would feel insulted Dean.’’

‘’No, you dork,-’’

‘’If I can choose, I prefer ‘sweetheart’.’’ Cas finally looked at him.

‘’Oh my god, Cas.’’ The little shit was smiling, clearly amused.’’Sam, okay? It was Sam!’’

“Yes.” It wasn't an ask, just an affirmation, he didn't look too surprised about it. He just went back to the task in hand. Okay, Dean wasn't too surprised either, but he hadn't notice anything new between those two lately, not that he had been too focused, between all that went on in their way back from that last hunt and how half the time he caught himself staring at Cas for longer than usual.

“You knew it?”  
  
“I mean, I think Sam asking me to help him tell Eileen how he feels was a sign.” Dean rolled his eyes. It made sense, he remembered seeing them a couple mornings ago talking at the library when he was looking for Cas to ask him if he wanted to go with him for a walk outside, he had thought in the moment they were just revising some stuff, but now he was sure they were talking about Eileen and Sam. “I didn't tell you because I respect your brother's privacy and he should be the one to give you the news, Dean.” Cas added distracted.

“Secrets, secrets.” Dean said jokingly, he didn't care deep down, he loved watching his favourite nerds in the world being nerds together, Cas shook his head.

“He’s my best friend too, and he has never told anything about what we have talked about you and me.” Dean was horrified for a second, thinking about what the hell Cas and his lack of filter could have told Sam, but it soon was okay, he had talked about it with Sam too, maybe that's why he sent them in a trip out of the bunker alone with the excuse of a hunt.

“What are you looking for in here?” He switched topics before Cas could tell him something he had told Sam.

“All I need for a summoning spell.”

“What?'' Dean's head perked up at that, his eyes widdened. '' Have you heard something on angel radio?”

“No, and that's exactly the problem, they will find us, I need to know what is going on. This silence, maybe they have simply found a way to block me, but, I don't like it anyway, I don't like this false sense of calm, we don't know if there has been more deaths. Dean, I can't stay here anymore, hand in hand, waiting for the angels to make a move. I'm going to try and call Benjamin.”

Dean tried to remember, he knew he had heard that name before in one of Cas’ stories about his past. There were few things he liked as much as listening Cas talk about thing he had seen and things he had done, or about how cool his trueform was, Dean like imagining it, he thought it would be great to see it without the burned eyes part, of course.

Dean always asked him a million questions until Cas told him it was getting late and he should go to sleep.

Sometimes Cas didn't say much, and Dean understood, both knew they could open up with each other, never be judged, no matter what, but there were things they weren't ready to tell yet, stories they wanted to leave behind and forget. He loved Cas a little bit more with each and every little thing he learned about him, always funny, courageous and compassionate. He also loved him a little bit more with each little gesture, he was such an affectionate creature, always close and ready to give his love to those he cared about.

He searched around his brain, trying to remember that name, the story that went with it.

He finally remembered Benjamin, Cas had told him that he had a female vessel around the time they served together too, he sometimes wondered how Cas looked like then, if it would have changed something between them.

Those days he was more comfortable than ever with his own sexuality, it was difficult at the start, to forget the way his father looked at him when he saw him kissing a boy he met during a hunt, even if they never talked about it, because that wasn't his dad's style, but Dean knew what that look meant, and he cared about what father had to say on the matter at the time; but now, like for many other things, he was free, and after years he had understood everything that was wrong in the way his father treated him, and that they hadn't deserved all the things the guy put him and Sam through.

Sam knew, of course, had known for years, it was difficult not to, sharing a car and motel rooms for years, and Dean knew he could count on him, that it didn't matter to Sam, not like it seemed to matter to his father. Cas loved listening to his adventures too, but he always got upset when he told him his stories with John in them, and he was glad the old man was gone, he didn't want to think about Cas crossing paths with him.

He pushed those thoughts aside, focusing again on Cas.

“You served with Benjamin here on Earth, right?” Cas nodded. “Are you sure about this?” Cas’ shrugged at the question.

He didn't seem too sure, but Dean agreed, something was going on with the angels, they were waiting for a moment of weakness, they were giving them a faux sense of security, and then, when they less expected it they would attack. They couldn't trust anyone those days, but Cas looked decided to do this, and they would find any other way if this went wrong, and he hoped it didn't because it could end badly, and he knew Cas appreciated Benjamin and that he wouldn't want to hurt him, and Dean wasn't going to let Benjamin hurt Cas either.

“We need information Dean, and I have to try, I have to try and talk with an angel that knows me better, that is willing to listen my version of this whole issue. I have thought this, believe me, and this is the only solution. I can't go to Heaven, I don't even know if the gate’s in the same place, and they won't listen to me anyway, but if we can prove an angel I didn't do anything, we might convince the rest.”

“You think you can trust Benjamin?”

“Yes.” Dean nodded.

“Okay, Cas, how can I help you?” Cas sent him a little smile, bumping their shoulders together when Dean came to a halt next to him before going back to work, pointing out everything they were going to need to Dean.

 

* * *

 

‘’Benjamin.’’ The woman’s eyes settled on Castiel, impassive, after a quick sweep of the surroundings, ignoring Dean, Eileen and Sam. She was tall, attractive, in her eyes a hard look that gave Dean a shiver, for a second it felt like he was in a barn again, facing Castiel for the first time; her lips were closed forming a tight line.

“Castiel.” Dean raised his hand, ready to ignite the lighter he was holding. They had made a holy oil circle around the summoning spell, just in case things went wrong and they couldn't stop Benjamin from going back to Heaven before they could get the wards of the bunker up and running again.

“That won't be necessary.” Cas told him, Dean sent him an incredulous look but didn't do anything, Cas said they could trust Benjamin, and he trusted Cas, even if all his instincts were saying him to not believe whatever the angel was going to tell them. “Thanks for coming.” Benjamin only nodded. “It has been a long time.” Dean thought that was a pretty human thing for Cas to say, mostly because the last century was like a blink away for them.

“I haven't been much time here on Earth.” There was something in the tone of the angel's voice, a melancholic note, that made him wonder if Benjamin was another one of those angels that liked being here, among humans. “What can I do for you, Castiel?” Enough with the friendly chat, angels and their lack of patience, Cas was like the king of that sometimes.

“Yeah, we better get to the pressing issue here.” He looked genuinely sad about the simple moment being over, reality's weight back at full force. These weren't the circumstances he would have liked to see Cas meeting an old friend. “Look, I will understand if you don't want to help me, but we need information.” He made a pause, waiting for the angel to refuse right there and then. Nothing came, he kept talking. “Benjamin, it wasn't me, I didn't kill those angels. I can prove it, I can find whoever did it, but I need your help.” Benjamin just stared at him for a moment, Cas knew the angel and he also knew the doubt when he saw it. “I hate to make you pick a side like this, and I don't want to cause you any trouble,  but I know you know me, I know you know that despite the mistakes, I haven't done this, I didn't kill those two angels, why would I Benjamin? After this time away from Heaven, all I want for all of us is peace, not war.” Benjamin listened closely, Dean wanted to think that was a good signal, if Cas could make an angel listen, if he could get information, they would be able to end all of this.

“I don't know who the witness is, I've heard something about a low rank angel, nothing else,  but-” a pause, Benjamin's shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly in surrender, “I really hope you are being honest with me, Castiel, I know where they found the bodies.”

“I'm telling you the truth, Benjamin.” Benjamin finally looked convinced and willing to help Cas, at least in part.

“Howard City, Nebraska. We found them in an abandoned garage outside the town.” He gave them a direction then. Cas nodded, thankful. “ I should go back now before they wonder where I went to, Castiel. I hope you can solve this, Heaven is ready to make you pay for your crimes. Don't call me again until you have those proofs, it will be the safer way for all of us.” With that the angel was gone.

“Wait,” Sam spoke after a beat of silence, reaching inside his pocket he took out his phone, tapping quickly on the screen, “ I knew I had heard that name before.”

“What?”

“I read a local newspaper while I was looking for deaths that could point out the place where the angels died, they talked about two dead bodies, but the date and the way they died didn't made sense, they said it was an overdose of heroin. They probably lied to not scare the people of the town.” He gave his phone to Eileen, Cas guessed that probably made sense. “Howard City is near, we can be there in two hours or so.” Sam broke the silence that had settled over them, Castiel heard him, but his gaze was still focused in the spot previously occupied by Benjamin. He still had a chance to prove Heaven their enemy was among their own rows.

“Okay, we will go get everything ready, and meet by the car in 15 minutes.” Dean gripped his elbow lightly bringing him back to reality again, anchoring him. “Come on, Cas, there is work to do.”

 

 

When they got there the sun had already set, above them a starless sky, darkened by clouds that announced rain. The town was empty, only a restaurant open, an odd silence around them, the strange feeling of being watched making the hairs at the back of Dean's head stand up.  They headed straight to the garage, taking advantage of it being late so nobody would see them, four strangers in a place where they found two dead bodies.

There was nothing in the place, well, nothing but the shadow of burned wings on two of the walls and years of dust, at least they knew Benjamin told them the truth. The place was sealed for now, until the police could solve the case, probably they wouldn't be able to, only god knows for how long the angels had the vessels they were in when they died.

Dean walked outside for some fresh air, leaving Cas inside.

He came to a halt next to Sam and Eileen, interrupting the conversation they were having, he wanted to feel bad about it but he couldn't, Sam had always had the worst timing in the world always interrupting Cas and him.

“It's a small town, we should head to the sheriff office, maybe someone saw or heard something that night.” Sam checked his phone. “It's probably closed now but it's worth a try.”

Dean agreed, going back in to tell Cas.

He was standing in front of one of the walls, staring at the marks of the crime committed there. Dean walked to his side, resting his hand on the small of Cas’ back, Cas simply leaned back into the touch.

“We will find whoever did this before they can do it again, Cas.” He didn't get an answer apart from a small nod.

Cas’ head perked up then and he looked around.

“What is wrong?”

“I thought I had heard something.” They couldn't see anyone or anything. Cas shook his head.”It likely was an animal. Sam is right, we should go ask the sheriff.”

Ten minutes later they were sharing incredulous looks in front of the closed door to the police station. There was a sign, the two officers were gone to a reunion in another town, it had a phone number scribbled on it too, for an emergency it said under it. It made them wonder what did people of this town considered an emergency.

“Small town, nothing ever happens, they took vacations.”

“Yeah, nothing happens, but they have two dead persons in the morgue and a murderer running free out there. Don't think they care too much about it, even more if the vessels weren't from around here and nobody saw or heard anything. ” And it made sense, because the garage wasn't near any house, and they didn't know if people would like to talk to fbi without the sheriff here, and anyway, they thought they died because of drugs, not that they were murdered.

“We should come back again, when they are back. It says here they will be back next wednesday.”

“Yes.” Cas sounded disappointed, they finally had something, but it was basically nothing. He made his way to the car, waiting for Dean to unlock and open the door for him. Sam and Eileen sat in the back again, and he thought for a moment that his brother would have made so much fun of him for letting Cas sit down next to him if the circumstances had been different.

Dean didn't seem any sense in asking Cas if he was okay once they were in their way back, or in empty words, so he reached out and held his hand all the way back to the bunker.

As soon as he parked in the garage Cas opened the door and hurried inside. Dean wanted to follow, every fiber of his body telling him to take care of Cas, but he understood that Cas needed a moment alone, so he stayed back, doing nothing but watch him go.

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“He will be okay.” Dean nodded, unsure, he didn't look at Sam, his gaze focused on the door. “Do you want to help me read more newspapers?” Dean simply followed him to the library.

After a while, maybe an hour, maybe five minutes, of staring blankly at the computer screen in front of him, his mind focusing on Cas more than in whatever he was pretending to read about, Dean sighed tiredly, rubbing his eyes.

“Nothing.”

“Same.” Dean got up.

“I should go prepare something for dinner,” not like he was hungry or that he thought he was going to be able to eat something with the knot in his stomach, but cooking would keep him occupied for a while, and maybe he could convinced Cas to leave the room and help him around in the kitchen, he always liked helping Dean or simply watching him cook, laughing a bit when Dean put on a show for him, singing loudly using whatever he had on his reach as a micro.

“I will tell Eileen.” He paused. “Dean, look, we-”

“We what, Sam?” He interrupted. “I know, everything will go just fine, but when, how?” He didn't want to do that, to let everything out like this, he wasn't mad with his brother, he was mad with the universe, and the angels and their bad luck, but he simply couldn't contain his outburst. “What are we going to do?” His tone changed suddenly, in a blink he felt drained instead of angry, he sat down again with a tired sigh. “We don't know anything about that witness, we don't have any clue on the murders, Sam, we have nothing.” They had to help Cas, but it was proving to be an impossible mission.

“Dean, we have something, Benjamin wants to help Cas, and we know where they were killed, we will come back there when the sheriff is back. We will do everything in our power to prove Cas wasn't the one that killed the angels.” Dean knew Sam would always have Cas’ back too.

“You seem really sure about that.” They both looked at their side, spotting a man, he was tall, redhead, and was staring closely at them.

Dean stand up with a fluid movement, seeing Sam do the same out of the corner of his eye, he took the angel blade they kept hidden under the table out.

“Who are you?”

He cursed internally, they left in such a hurry they forgot to reactivate the wards of the bunker.

“I heard you have been looking for me.”

“You are the one that told the other angels in Heaven Cas was out there, running around and killing angels?”

“I saw him doing it.”

“You don't have to lie here, buddy, I'm sure you are the one who killed those angels, aren't you?” There was a flash of something on his face, but it was gone as fast as it appeared. But Dean wasn't stupid, he recognized the gesture for what it was. Guiltiness. “How did you find us?”

“Same way the angels found you and Castiel at that dinner, you might be out of the angel radar, but you aren't from the methods human use to find and control people. It wasn't that difficult, the people of Lebanon were really useful, I just had to tell them I was looking for my cousin Castiel, dark hair, blue eyes, he always wears a stupid trench coat. We just had to keep an eye on that car of yours and in weird and spooky news on the papers too, I have to say that case of the ghost didn't catch our attention at first, but we were rather lucky to find you both there .” Dean and Sam remained quiet. Both wondering if this guy had been watching them for god knows how long, following them, waiting for the perfect moment. “I'm sure Castiel can't find his blade.” He said, nonchalantly, when he didn't get a reply. He looked decided to do everything he could to make Dean and Sam doubt of Cas, Dean wanted to laugh at his face.

The loud thud of the blade falling in front of Dean's feet echoed in the silence of the bunker. He didn't look at it, he didn't need to, he knew exactly what he was going to see.

“It could be anyone's blade. Cas had it with him after the angels were killed and it didn't have any blood on it.” He realized then, Cas was right, he had lost it back in the alley, it was all a trap. He knew that, but the angels probably had eaten a lie, he might had told them Castiel left it near the place where the bodies were found, that he knew someone had seen him and that he lost it in his haste to run away from the place.

“But it isn't, Dean, and you know it.” His eyes finally dared to move down and there it was, an angel blade, covered in blood. “He got tired of waiting for Heaven to leave him alone -”

“No.”

“He wanted to be here,” the angel continued, ignoring Dean’s interruption, he made a face that talked of repulsion, “to love a human, and he knew Heaven wasn't going to let him go that easily. He just wants to end with all of us.”

“No. Maybe those mindless pigeons have bought into whatever you had told them, but Cas has been here, all the time, with us.”

“You can believe whatever you want to believe, I will find Castiel and I will take him to Heaven with me, he will be judge, he needs a reminder of who he is, if they let him live of course, he need to be reminded of our rules and loyalty. There is nothing you can do about it, tell me where he is and I will not hurt any of you.” Dean had had enough, before he could think twice about it he launched forwards, gripping the blade he was holding tightly, ready to end with that bastard right there and then.

He was seeing red, anger making his heart beat fast against his ribcage, fury singing in his veins, he hadn’t felt like in that moment since they got rid of the mark, and he was scared for a second, even if he was still in control of himself, the still fresh memories of who he became under the influence of the mark of the Cain, were strong.

But he had to do something, the angels would know where to find them then, they would come for Cas, and he wasn't  going to allow it, not without fighting. He won't let them steal all Cas was, all he had learned, his freedom and his love, his memories, everything. He remembered what Cas told him at the kitchen the other night, that the mark was gone, that he was stronger than all of that. He wasn’t going to stop now. This wasn't only about him and Cas being together, about him not being able to imagine his life without Cas by his side, it was about Cas and his right to be free, to choose what to do, where to go and with whom he wanted to be. His right to have hopes and dreams, a list of places to go, of things to do and see.

He wasn't fast enough, the angel raised an arm, hitting him on the chest and making him fly backwards until his back met a wall. He groaned in pain, gritting his teeth trying to get up again. He wasn't going to let the angels lay a finger on Cas.

“Dean? Dean!” Cas seemed to had heard something, Dean heard him run down the hallway towards the room.

No, no, no.

“Cas! Go away!” Cas didn't listen, he was focused on the angel, ready to attack, there was little he could do, the angel was quick to vanish into thin air.

Dean accepted the hand Sam offered him them, getting up from the floor and slowly walking towards Cas, he knew he would never hurt him, but he had seen Cas angry enough times to know he could be unpredictable, and he didn't want him to do something without thinking twice about it.

“Cas.” Nothing, all his attention was on the door. He breathed deeply.

“This is going to end right now.” His voice was low, dark.

“Cas, no, we need a plan. We will call Benjamin again, tell him to contact other angels, maybe if they can see your truth in my head they will believe you. ” Cas finally looked at him, staring at him like he was crazy.

“They will kill you, they will use you against me, I'm not going to allow them to hurt any of you again.” He walked forwards.

“Or they will use you against us again!” He regretted the words once they fell from his lips, he saw the confusion on Sam’s face, because he didn't know what he knew, he didn't know the whole story about Naomi and what she forced Cas to do. “ You could die, they could,” he paused, “ they could reset you, Cas. Listen to me.” Cas didn't stop, he didn't look back either. Dean knew he was hurt, Dean was desperate but he shouldn't have used something like that against Cas, and it didn't matter, it didn't change anything, Cas was only angrier than before. “We will go with you.” He tried to stop him, but Cas simply freed himself from his grip and kept walking towards the stairs.

“No, I will do this alone, I have to do this alone, they won't be near you again.” Dean followed, Sam tailing behind him.

“That's is such a stupid idea, Cas, you are going to get yourself killed.”

“I can take care of myself, Dean.”

“I didn't mean you can't -” Cas was gone with a flutter of wings. “Damn it!”

He run all he could, almost tripping and falling down the stairs, he knew Cas wasn't still able to fly to far distances, he hoped he was still outside the bunker,   but it was too late.

‘’Cas, wait! Wait!’’ When Dean reached the door and looked outside Cas was already gone.


	6. We will always be one for all, and all for one.

_If I should fall_   
_Or you don't make it back_   
_Together we'll rise_   
_Together we'll stand._

**Five For Fighting - All for one.**

 

When Castiel woke up, with a sharp pain in the base of his skull, he took a lot at the surrondings, squinting at the bright light from the bulbs hanging from the ceiling, the wind blew with force outside making the structure of the building creak. 

He couldn't hear much from outside, if there was a road near it must be one no one used. He could smell the faint traces of sap from trees outside, he could hear some lonely birds singing too.

He knew he wasn’t in heaven, that was good, maybe he still had a chance to escape. 

There was a door in the front, probably locked and other one, smaller, on the side of the building.

The place was big, an only open space, probably a warehouse, dust and a metallic smell filling his nostrils, a dry motor oil stain on the floor next to him, there was a wooden table lacking a part of the board pushed against the wall in the other side of the building, and few more items, tools and an old empty cola can, discarded around in shelves and on the floor.

He couldn't see or hear anyone near, but he wasn't as stupid to think he was alone, he didn't know if the angel was working alone or if he had someone to keep an eye on him while he wasn't there.

He moved his hands, the handcuffs around his wrist rattled, he remembered leaving the bunker, shouting at the empty outside asking the angel to come back, to show his face,  and then a sharp pain in the back of his head.

He was so bold, he wanted to find a solution, he wanted to protect his loved ones, but all he achieved was to just fall in a trap. 

He tried to get up, supporting his weight on the wall behind him, that was when he realized one of his ankles was chained too. His phone was on the floor near him, the screen had a big crack in the middle of it and, even if it was still functional, it was too far from his reach.

He closed his eyes and focused his attention on the voice that had waken him up.

Dean was praying to him, worry and fear clear and loud in every word he said, but it calmed Castiel in a way, he felt less lonely in that moment because he could hear Dean's voice, he wished he could answer him, let him now he was okay, ease some of his pain.

He remembered the first times Dean prayed to him, it always surprised Castiel, it didn't matter how many voices he could hear, the ones from Heaven and the ones from other humans praying, when everyone was talking at the very same time and Dean prayed to him, a barely there whisper, his grace always reached out for Dean's soul, amplifying his prayers until there wasn't anything else he could hear but Dean's voice.

He listened closely, Dean wanted him to come back, to at least call him to say he was okay. 

He didn't want to think how much pain he was causing Dean, only to add it to the one he had already inflicted.

He closed his eyes, wincing when Dean’s voice was gone. 

He wondered if he would get to hear his voice again, or see his face, say he was sorry, kiss Dean even if it was for one last time. 

He just wanted to say goodbye, at least, to say thank you, to say Dean that he loved him.

He wanted to believe Dean knew, but he had to say it to him, those three words, he wanted Dean to understand, without any doubt, that he had loved him for a long time, that he loved him then with every fiber of his body, and that, no matter what happened next, he would always love him, until his very last breath.

Dean didn't pray to him again, and then he was alone, the silence a heavy weight over his tired shoulders.

Castiel didn’t know how much time had gone by, maybe hours, maybe minutes, but suddenly the false calm around him was disturbed by footsteps and a voice he couldn’t recognize.

“Castiel, you are awake.”  Castiel opened his eyes and looked up, regarding the man in front of him, he was the same that attacked Dean back at the bunker, he looked familiar in a way now that he could see past his rage,  but Castiel couldn't remember where he had seen him in the moment, he was an angel, he was sure of that. He didn’t say a word. “Oh, don't tell me you don't know who I am.” He surely liked the sound of his voice too. “I once served under your command, Castiel.” He finally remembered.

“Harael.”

“I used to admire you, but look at you now, it's pretty sad, you are so weak, and for what, humans?” Castiel couldn't help the huffing sound that escape his lips at those words.

“You should start looking for new ways to offend me. You always tell me the same thing, all of you, that humanity, feelings, are a weakness.”

“They are, we are not supposed to live with them or like them.” He proceeded to take something out of his pocket then. “I had to check your pockets, I found this, I must say it's really endearing,” in his hand appeared the mixtape Dean made for him a couple months ago, he usually carried it with him. It made him feel like home, next to Dean, when he was away from the bunker for long periods of time. Whenever he listened to it Dean was there, singing loudly and smiling brightly at him, waiting for him to join and sing too. He watched as Harael threw it to the floor before stomping on it twice, breaking it into pieces “endearing, yes, but a weakness.” He finished.

“I've been watching them, humans,” he kept going despite the interruption, no matter how much it hurt him to see him simply destroying something he cherished, he wasn't going to give him what he wanted, to see him suffer, “for a very long time. They are not perfect, they make mistakes, but they learn from them, and when things seem impossible they always success, no matter what, and they love and they hate without limits. I had seen all of that, but still I wasn't prepared to live it, and I wasn't prepared for the Winchesters.” 

He wasn't prepared for Dean, for everything he made him feel, he smiled bitterly then.

    “And everyone treated me like an idiot, at first I was confused, of course I was, because I had never felt what I was feeling then, but I knew, I knew I was following the right path, that it wasn't going to be an easy one, but that it was worthy .” He knew, from the moment he laid a hand on Dean in hell, that something big was going to happen. 

Dean's bright soul was a mystery, he had to know more about that man, that after going literally through hell was still willing to fight and to live. He would never forget that moment, the moment he found Dean in the darkness, how his soul slowly reached out, hoping that the bright light Cas was, was there to save him, to end his pain. And then he got to knew Dean better, he opened his heart for Cas and if he already wasn't sure it was a point of no return that was it. 

He had never felt lonely, always with the voices of angels and the stars by his side, but now, to think about not being around Dean, his Dean, made him feel lonely, lost, like there was a missing part inside of him. He had always felt strong, powerful, but nothing could compare to the feeling of knowing he had his family with him. 

    “You think is a weakness, but you are wrong, all of you. You that with your ambitions, and your sense of superiority, are weaker than me. You think you are always right, that all is black or white, but there is so much more, and you will never be able to see it, to comprehend it. I can't be weak when I have those who love me by my side, since we learned about the crimes they have been fighting with me, they believed me, because they have faith in me, they never faltered, I'm sure they are looking for me right now, without taking a rest. They had seen the worst of me, just like I had seen the worst of them, but they had brought out the best out of me, too.” He wished then he had realized earlier, he hoped they knew how thankful he was, just in case he wouldn't be able to tell them himself.  “They made me understand life is worth living and worth fighting for, with love by my side I will be always stronger than all of you together.

“Such noble words and feelings ,Castiel.” He said with a mocking tone. “You surely have some faith on those humans. Yeah, I'm sure they are looking for you right now, even if you are a source of continuous troubles and headaches for them. I don't think they will be on time. It would be pretty entertaining, I have to be honest, it was back at that bunker where you live; I don't think the angels would be angry if something happened to them, they aren't big fans of the Winchester brothers either. ” 

“Why aren't we in Heaven yet?” He decided to ignore his provocations.

“I haven't decided yet what I want to do with you, I could kill you right here and now,” he crouched down, his blade appearing in his hand, Castiel couldn't help closing his eyes when he made a cut on his right cheek, stopping right below his eye; “ that way, you wouldn't open that mouth of yours once I take you to Heaven, I don't think they would believe whatever you have to say, but I don't like taking risks. I wish I could have just taken you there, but since the Fall, all of us are having troubles with our powers, I can't fly much and the Gate is too far from here. I was lucky to find Jerry, he was so willing to please me, and he had this really nice place to keep you locked for now,” Cas could hear the hate and the pain fresh and clear in his voice, and he felt it like his own, all the lives they lost that day and all the consequences Metatron's act brought them, but now, maybe it meant he still had a chance to make an escape, or he maybe would just die here,“ I don't want anyone discovering a dead man in my trunk and, of course, I don't want you to escape. Maybe I could let you give me some punches, I could go to Heaven then, or maybe tell them to come here, tell them I had to defend myself, that I didn't want to kill you, but that you had found out I was the one who saw you killing my siblings and you were ready to kill me.” He tapped a finger against his chin. “ I will let you live for now, you stay here and wait for the big surprise, okay?” 

He walked to the door on the side, turning off the lights as he left, leaving Castiel in the dark, the only light coming out from the window behind him and the ones on the opposite side of the building.

 

* * *

 

__

''Cas, please, answer your phone, come back,or at least let me know that you are okay, take your time, but, man, send me a text.’’ 

He stared at his phone, nothing, the usually amusing and endearing voicemail now filling him with desperation, it wasn’t going to be the only way he could ever hear Cas’ voice again, it couldn't be.

Cas had left hours ago, he could be anywhere, he could be -

No, he stopped himself, Cas was a fighter, he was out there, Dean was sure about that.

Dean carded his fingers through his hair before hiding his face behind his hands. Cas couldn't be gone, he was still out there, deep down he knew it, Cas told something about a profound bound between them years ago, he wanted to believe in it in that moment, in the idea of being able to know it if something had happened to Cas, in the idea of that the empty space he felt every time he had lost Cas before was that, and all he could feel in that moment was a pressure in his chest, the heavy weight of worry, but there was still a spark of hope, and he was going to grip it tight and do all he could to bring Cas back home and to keep him safe, he wasn't going to fail him, Cas deserved he gave his best to find him. 

He couldn't imagine a world without him, without his best friend, his lover, he wasn't going to say goodbye when there were still a hundred things he wanted to tell Cas.

He was still in the spot when he felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder, he was only feeling more and more desperate as his phone remained silence and minutes kept passing.

“Dean?” He breathed in for a second, he moved his hands away from his face and looked up at his brother.

“I'm okay, Sam.” It was a lie bigger than the Pacific ocean, and both knew it, but what he didn't need then was a pity party.

“We should go back to the place where they found the dead angels.” Sam said, it wasn't what he wanted to say, Dean was sure, but he probably knew that there weren't any words he could say to calm Dean down in the moment.

“We didn't find anything there the first time.”

“You have a better idea?” Dean simply shook his head with a defeated sigh. “I'm sure the sheriff will be back by now, maybe they know something we don't know and Dean, we have a face now, we have met that witness, we can't do anything else staying here.” 

They could wait for Cas to come back home. But if he couldn't and they didn't leave to look for him, he might never come back again. 

Dean got up.

“Okay, let's go.”

 

 

After a more than two hours drive, they were back in Howard City, posing as fbi agents agents, knowing that the sheriff would be more than happy to help them when they told him they had information about those two dead persons, even if all they planned to say was a big lie.

There were few new things they could tell them there anyway, but the trip wasn't for nothing.

When they were done with the sheriff, that prove to be one of the worst they have ever met( and that was saying a lot), and that also prove they were right since he was really ready to help once they promised the deaths were going to still be an accident outside the building; they left his office, walking towards Eileen, that was waiting for them in the waiting room of the small police station, it was when they got closer to her that Dean saw a board with missing people pictures all over it. 

He picked the one that had caught his attention, showing it to Sam and Eileen, that were discussing what Eileen saw in the dead bodies at the morgue.

“Hey guys, isn't this-?” He didn't finished, the face staring back at him from the paper was the face of that bastard that accused Cas of the deaths and the one that surely had him now. 

“It's the vessel.” Sam finished for him.“Jerry Hamilton, he disappeared 4 years ago.” He read out loud, Dean couldn't breath for a moment. It was something, at last they had found something. “We should go to the garage too, show the pic, maybe someone saw him the day the angels were killed.” Dean had fished his phone out of the pocket of his coat and was staring at the screen, nothing, no words from Cas, hours kept passing and they didn't know anything of him. 

“Yeah, we should do that.” He agreed, distracted.

“We will ask around about Jerry, maybe he had some property here the angel is using to keep Cas locked.” Sam said once Dean looked at them again.

Eileen touched his cheek softly, she signed to him slowly then, ‘we will find him, Dean.’ 

He signed his thank you back, wanting, more than anything, to believe her words, even if he couldn't shake off the bad feeling that was making it difficult for him to breathe.

They drove back to the garage, and like the first time they were there they found nothing but the marks of wings on the walls, he couldn't look at them now, he kept seeing Cas, like they weren't from the angels that died there.

It was when they were going to get ready to leave that Dean heard it.

“Cas said he had heard something last time we were here.” Sam nodded, listening with attention too, it sounded like the wheels of a shopping cart against the hard concrete floor. “Don't think that's a rat.” 

They walked slowly towards the sound, not wanting whoever was there to run away before they could ask them about what happened here.

They finally spotted him, he was already turning to leave.

It was a man, Dean thought he might be in his sixties, with a cart full of old stuff he probably took out of the trash.  He stared at them, wide eyes and fear all over his features. 

Dean raised both his hand, trying to placate the man, trying to make him understand they weren't going to hurt him. **  
**

“Hello.” The man said nothing.”You live here?” He only nodded. ''Good, we are looking for someone, maybe you have seen him here, it's important, we just need you to look at his photo for a second,then we will leave you alone, I promise.” 

The man still looked like he didn't trust them, and Dean understood, if he was there that night, if he saw those angels dying, he probably was thinking the three of them were like those things too.  Dean thought that if he was the one Cas heard the other day he likely left in a hurry, afraid of them, and of what they might have been. 

He took the missing sign out his suit jacket pocket then, unfolding it and showing it to the man. By the way his face paled Dean was even more sure about the fact this man in front of them had seen something.

“He was here, yes, I saw him.” Dean let out a relieved sigh.

“Okay, good, thank you. Is there something else you remember?” The man shook his head, he still looked nervous, so it was clear he was hiding something, Dean wondered what it could be, and he understood the man, he was afraid, it could be fear to have his sanity questioned, or a fear of that thing coming back to end with his life too, or probably It could be both.

“Once we trap him you will be safe, but we need to know what you saw.”

“You wouldn't believe me, that's why I didn't told the police, you will think I'm crazy.”

“Try us.” Sam said. The man focused his gaze on Sam.

“Who are you?” Dean and Sam shared a look, there was no use lying now, they needed to know what this man had been a witness of.

“We are the ones that will believe you, because we are used to deal with those things that are like whatever you saw here,” Sam started, “we need you to help us, because this man you saw, he has our best friend, and he will hurt him, and everyone else he finds in his way if we don't find him and stop him.” The man looked around and sighed in defeat.

“He was here, it was a couple weeks ago, I was coming back to the place where I sleep to pass the night, there were other two, a man and a woman, they were talking but I couldn't understand what they were saying, it wasn't like any language I have heard before.” They were probably talking in enochian, Dean thought, he had been trying to learn with Cas, and it was rather strange and difficult, even more when it was spoken quickly. “Then this one,” he pointed at the pic Dean was still holding, “he had this weird knife, he just stabbed the other two and then he vanished.” Dean nodded. Well, they were now sure of who was killing angels here, they had now a face, and a name. Maybe there was still a chance for hope. “I was scared of him coming back if he knew there was a witness, and then the police said they died because of drugs, and I knew no one would believe me.” He finished.

“How can we say thank you?” The other man simply shook his head.

“Go help your friend and stop that monster.” 

 

****  
  
“Hello’’ Sam opened the door, letting Eileen in before walking in himself, his hand settled on the small of her back, and closing the door. Dean only nodded. “Look, Dean, we have something.” Dean rubbed his eyes tiredly, trying to focus. 

Sam and Eileen had left together a couple hours ago to look for Jerry's family and friends in town, they convinced Dean to stay back at the motel room, maybe Cas would try to contact him and he clearly needed to rest.

Like Dean would be able to just lay down and take a nap like the other side of the bed wasn't there, empty, mocking him. The last words he said to Cas before watching him leave alone echoing in his head, a headache forming in his temples. 

He couldn't believe everything that was going on, he wished all was just a nightmare, that suddenly he was going to wake up with Cas’ warm body curled next to his in their bed, that Cas was going to look up at him and smile softly, that all of this was a bad dream. 

But deep down he knew, he knew that it wasn't, and he knew too that he needed to focus, he wouldn't fail Cas, never again. 

He shook his head, feeling two pairs of concerned eyes trained on his face.

“Yes?” He looked at his brother, waiting for him to keep going, accepting with a little forced smile on his lips the coffee Eileen was offering him. 

“We only could find a guy that was Jerry's friend before he disappeared. Jerry had told close friends and his sister, that left the town some months after he went away;  something about a community in the mountains, people that adored angels, he was thinking about going there, even if people told him it was a crazy idea, then one day he was gone, everything in his flat was in place, except for a few of his belongings and a note that said an angel had spoken to him.” He made a pause. “We think the angel found him there and it wasn't that difficult to convince him to be his vessel, even more if he really had contacted with Jerry before.”

“And the angel just went back here because this place was the vessel's home once?” 

“I think the angel was looking for places to stay until he could finish his plan. Jerry and his family are the owners of the garage the dead angels were found, since his sister was gone too nobody took care of it, she and Jerry were the only one who had keys.”

“He could have had them there for god knows how long then.” Sam nodded.

“There is more. They are also the owners of an old warehouse a couple miles away from the town, it was a family business, but now is closed. The angel might be hiding Cas there.” Dean quickly got up, putting on his jacket ready to head outside. He stopped, his hand closed around the doorknob when they didn't make a movement to follow him. 

“What?” He couldn't understand why, now that they had a place to go, now that they were so close to finding Cas, they weren't doing anything at all. He knew they were tired, he was tired too, but they had something, finally, and if they left now and found Cas then everything would be over, and they would have time to rest, but not now, they couldn't stop now.

“Dean, we need a plan, maybe we can try and contact with Benjamin again, someone that can go to Heaven and tell them Cas isn't the bad guy here.” Dean nodded, he hadn't thought about that.  Sam was right, if they only went there and end with the angel they wouldn't be able to prove anything, the angels would see just another dead angel by Cas’ hands.  They could try and contact Benjamin, Dean hoped the angel was still willing to help them, in the car on their way to the warehouse. 

For some reason, Sam was still not moving. 

He sighed deeply, sharing a quick look with Eileen. Dean knew that face, Sam was looking for a way to say something Dean wouldn't want to hear. 

“Spit it up!” He was reaching his limit at this point, the pity in Sam's face wasn't helping.

“Look, I want to save Cas too, but Dean, we have to be ready for whatever we might find there and for what can happen next.” Dean didn't want to hear that. No.

“It's the only clue we have, it's worth a shot, and if Cas is there then we are wasting our time by just staying back here, Sam. And if he isn't, well, we'll keep looking for him.” He didn't voice what they were all thinking, what has been in his head since Cas disappeared, if he wasn't here then he was in Heaven, and then they wouldn't be able to do anything for him, maybe it was too late already. 

No. 

They still had a spark of hope, and he was going to do all he could to find Cas.

“Okay, Dean, let's go.”

He took a deep breath once he started the car, following the directions Sam was giving him from the backseat. He sat down there too in the way there from the bunker, and Dean wanted to think that it was because of Eileen, and any other time he would have mocked his brother, but he appreciated the gesture in that moment, because that spot was for someone that wasn't there with them now, and it should be empty, a reminder of how much Dean missed Cas, until Castiel was back and could be the one to sit down next to Dean, take his hand while Dean take him back home in the calm that would come when the storm had finally passed and they were together again.

He turned on the radio, volume low, it still was in the rock station he chose on their way here, for the same reason he did it now, to drown those thoughts that kept telling him this was going to end like all his nightmares. 

He recognized the melancholic notes of a known melody.

__ 'We're just two lost souls   
Swimming in a fish bowl   
Year after year   
Running over the same old ground   
And how we found   
The same old fears.'

He turned the radio off, even if the song was just ending, he averted his gaze from the road for a second, his eyes meeting Sam’ in the rear view mirror, he gave him a reassuring nod and raised his hand over the seat to pat his shoulder briefly.

“Benjamin,” he started out loud, he felt weird the moment the name was out of his mouth, not because he was praying to an angel, but because the angel he was praying to wasn't Cas, he also really hoped Cas could still hear his prayers. He shook his head, focusing again in the task in hand.  “You wanted proofs, we have proofs, we are driving to the place where we think the angel is keeping Cas right now, so if you were telling the truth and you want to help Castiel we will meet you there.” 

Nothing happened, he tried not to think of the worst, he tried not to think about the possibility of Benjamin being discovered by the others helping Castiel, he didn't want to think about the consequences of it, and he didn't want to think about Cas knowing that Benjamin died because he tried to help him, he knew what that was like, he would never forget about Charlie.

He breathed deeply, and said the direction they were and the one they were heading to out loud, and as soon as the words left his mouth Benjamin appeared in the seat next to him. 

He cursed under his breath, gripping the wheel tightly, even if he was relieved too, Benjamin simply stared at the road, with the same impassive expression he had back when they first met in the bunker.

“Well, what did you want to tell me?” 

“A guy saw your witness killing those two angels, the vessel was the owner of a warehouse, we can't find Cas, so our bets are on him keeping him locked there.” Benjamin only nodded.

“I’m sure he isn't in Heaven,” Dean felt the knot in his stomach lessening a bit at those words, Benjamin paused for a second, giving Dean a quick glance, “ I knew Castiel wasn't doing any of this.” 

“Thank you for your help, we know this must be difficult and dangerous for you.” Sam said from the backseat. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he gave the angel a side glance, “but, I hope your intentions towards Cas are good, I won't doubt for a second if I see you are lying to us because you want his head too.” Benjamin didn't look disturbed by his threat at all, but something in those eyes staring at him softened.

“I understand you can't trust me, but Castiel, he is my friend too, my comrade in arms, I want the same you want, justice and to reveal the thruth, and I care for him, if I didn't, if I didn't trust him and his word, he would be dead at this point. I might not understand some of his choices or points of view, but we have fought side by side, and I know him, I know that his heart is not a weakness, that he is loyal, and ” his lips turned up in a barely - there smile for a second, “I understand why he appreciates humanity, this world, and alll the things you have created since you took your first steps a long time ago.”

“He told us your vessel is your friend, right?” Benjamin nodded, he turned his head to look out the window ending the conversation.

Dean thought that was enough for now, that maybe there were still angels out there willing to listen, angels that still could see the good in humans, but he would wait anyway, until Cas was again safe in his arms, he didn't want any nasty surprises.

Following Sam instructions they were there in less than 20 minutes,even if for Dean it felt like hours, parking the car far enough for it not being heard or seen. When they approached Dean signaled to the windows, they all, but Benjamin, kneeled beneath one of them, Dean, after giving the angel a look, peered inside, there they were, Cas was on the floor, chained, the guy that went to the bunker standing in front of him.

He watched as he crouched down and made Cas get up. 

“See? I was right, they are close to find us, I've seen them asking around in town, we are leaving.” Cas resisted, he was trying to gain some time, he was waiting for them. He got a punch to the face for his effort. “Don't make this harder than it should be, Castiel. I remind you they are here, they are close, and I don't think you will like getting them hurt again. Maybe I should go to the motel room they are staying in and bring Dean.” Cas gritted his teeth. “Once you understand that is his life or yours you will obey.”

Cas launched himself forward, putting the chain around the angel’s neck and making him stumble, both falling to the ground, Dean couldn't see what was going on now, not without revealing their position. Suddenly the guy got up again, he couldn't see Cas, he guessed he was still on the floor. He threw his leg back, kicking Cas with force.

Dean made a movement to stand.

“I'm going in.” 

‘’Wait, Dean, wait! We need a plan.’’ Sam restrained him, that bastard kept kicking Cas, over and over again.  Benjamin looked at him with a face that he had seen before on the angel’s face, in the car. It was a face that talked about the surprise Benjamin felt at Dean's will to do whatever he could to protect Castiel, it was a face that made Dean thought Benjamin saw the bond that had grown between them over the years and that maybe the angel couldn't understand but that appreciated anyway, like it mean that Cas was going to be okay, happy and safe among these humans.  ‘’Listen.’’ Dean stopped fighting against his brother's grip and listened. The guy was kicking Castiel, yes, but he was also speaking again. They couldn't hear everything, but Benjamin could, and was listening with close attention, at least Dean wasn't being watched like he had a third eye or something anymore, he had enough of that with Cas, thank you very much.

“Come on, Castiel! Defend yourself!” 

‘’Why me?’’ Cas' voice was weak, he groaned in pain, Sam had to restrain Dean again , the kicks and punches stopped.

‘’Because when God left again and, with all the archangels out of scene, Heaven was lost, the angels, we need a leader, I just had to look for something to protect them from, something they feared, or someone, and you, Castiel, you were perfect. The great Castiel, reduced to nothing, for what? For those humans. Everyone already hated you, I just needed to put you on the spotlight again, and then be the one to capture you, prove them I could take care of everything, of them, that I would risk my own life to fight you.’’ Dean blood was boiling hot, Castiel didn’t say a word, or at least Dean couldn't hear him say anything. ''They could have killed you, those angels back at the dinner, but that wouldn’t have been so spectacular, and I wanted you to feel fear, I wanted to see you reacting to the news about the murders, I wanted to see if you would have killed two more of your kind to save yourself and the Winchester, it would have been really good, but that monkey that goes with you everywhere had to save the day.’’ **  
**

“I've heard enough, I should go back to Heaven, and tell them about what happened here.”

“But we have to save Cas.” The words were leaving his mouth when with a flutter of wings the angel was gone. He huffed. “These dicks with wings. He is alone, I go through the front door,and distract him, you open that window in the back and take Cas out, any questions?’’ He gestured with his hands. Sam nodded as did Eileen. 

Dean got up from where he had crouched down beneath the window, carefully to not reveal his position and made his way to the front door, cursing at the lock keeping it closed, he made a quick work of opening it, wondering if there was another door they hadn’t seen. 

Once he was done he bursted the door open, as loudly as he could to let Sam know he was inside, taking his gun out.

‘’Hey, son of a bitch!’’ He raised his gun, the bullet wouldn't kill the angel but at least it would give him a distraction. As soon as he fired the gun and the bullet met its target, right in the angel’s back, the guy turned back.

“Look who has decided to join the party!” Dean saw Sam approaching the window, he had to keep the angel's attention focused on him.

“It's a shame it's going to end this early.” 

“You think that gun is going to stop me, really?” Sam successfully unlocked the window, opening it slowly to prevent it from creaking.

“We have called the angels, and I have a video on my phone of you confessing your crimes,” he half lied, “game over.” Sam entered, wincing when he landed on his feet on the hard floor with a loud thud. 

Shit. 

The angel turned to look at him.

“You really think I'm stupid.” He raised both his hands, Dean stopped feeling the concrete floor under his feet. He sent them both flying to the wall. “So, this is all you got? I've heard so much about you, it's a little disappointing.” The angel tightened his grip on Dean and Sam, pinning them against the wall. Dean stared over the angel’s shoulder.

“Well,” he said with effort, the pressure on his chest making it hard to breathe, ''I'm sure you haven't heard of her.’’ The angel spinned around then, his grip on the brothers faltering a bit, but it was too late, Eileen was faster than him, piercing his chest with an angel blade. 

Sam and Dean both fell to the ground, struggling to regain their breath. Eileen smirked at them, pointing with the blade at a door on the side wall of the building. Dean huffed.

“You okay, Sam?” He was staring at the dead body in front of them, he was sorry about Jerry too, sorry for him being force to commit acts he wouldn't have wanted to do, and sorry for his death, even if he couldn't be sure if he was still alive or if the angel was only using his body at that point.

“Yeah, you?” 

“Yes.” 

Dean got up then, ignoring the pain he could feel in his right side, near his ribs, running to Cas’ side, he was laying on the floor, very still, he prayed to him for this not to end like all his nightmares.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! let me know what you think. You can come say hi to my tumblr: bend-me-shape-me ❤


	7. Let me be your everlasting light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: extra soft love making ahead, you have been warned.

_Let me be your everlasting light_   
_The sun when there is none_   
_When no one's by your side_   
_Let me be your everlasting light_   
_Loneliness is over_   
_Dark days are through._

**The Black Keys - Everlasting Light.**

 

‘’Cas, come on Cas, please, talk to me, Cas!’’ 

He kneeled down besides Cas’ still body, his hands fumbling around showing all the desperation he was feeling, mixed with fear and helpness, he wanted to pick Cas up, cradle him against his chest. He just needed to know they were on time, that Cas was alive. 

He finally calmed down a bit, enough to focus his gaze in one spot for more than just a few second, he observed, relief washing over him, how Cas’ chest heaved slowly, he was covered in cuts and forming bruises, eyes closed, but he was alive, he hadn't left Dean. 

“Cas.” He cupped Cas’ check gently. Cas groaned softly.

“Dean?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart, it's okay, you are safe now.” Cas blinked a couple times making an effort to open one of his eyes, the one that wasn't swollen by a punch, to look at Dean. “Sam, the guy should have some keys on him.” He heard the rustle of fabric as Sam looked in all the pockets.

“Yeah, catch them!” Dean averted his gaze from Cas for long enough to catch the keys Sam threw him, making a quick work of getting rid of the handcuffs the angel had put Cas.

Once he was done he threw them again, hearing them land against the wall to their left, he rubbed Cas’ wrists and helped him to get up from the hard concrete floor, Cas leaned against his side, Dean wrapped an arm around his waist supporting his weight and looking down, ready to pick Cas up and carry him to the car if he couldn't walk. 

Dean saw it then, the mixtape he gave Cas was on the floor, broken in pieces. 

Cas’ eyes followed his gaze.

“I'm sorry, Dean.” He mumbled, he looked like he could stand for now.

“It’s okay, Cas, we will fix it, we can make a new one together, one even better. ” He could live with a broken mixtape, what mattered was that Cas was okay.

“It's not that.” Dean looked at him again, but he didn't ask, he just waited for Cas to continue. “I should have listened to you, I shouldn't have left alone. I put myself and all of you in danger and-” Dean shook his head.

“Cas, it's okay,” he reassured him, “ I should have calmed you, not make you angrier. What I told you, brought up the past like that, it wasn't fair, it was a low blow, I'm sorry too.” He paused, giving a quick glance to his brother before focusing again on Cas'. “ You didn't put anyone in danger, we weren't going to stop until we could find you, we would do anything for you. We have your back, no matter what, just as we know you will have ours, we are your family. You are a Winchester.” Cas smiled weakly at that, Dean decided one of the first things he was going to do when they were back at the bunker was to make Cas carve his initials next to his, that and kiss the living shit out of him. “We called Benjamin the moment we had a solid proof, he must be in Heaven now, telling the rest of the angels about what happened here.”

“I made him confess for you.” Dean's eyes widened at that.

“You knew we were here?”

“Harael was too blinded by his own ambition to focus on anything else, but I felt your soul, reaching out for me, and I knew you were already here.” He could feel the desperation that had filled Dean's soul in that moment, his need to protect Cas, to keep him safe. Dean didn't even seem to be aware of what he had done. 

“Dean.” Sam’s tone made him look away from Cas, and then he saw them, five angels in line, staring at them. Dean moved a bit to half cover Cas’ with his body. 

Benjamin was the one to step forwards, hands raised in a placating gesture.

“It's okay, Dean. I told them everything we heard here, we are not going to hurt him.” Dean didn't move an inch.

Benjamin had helped them, yes, but he didn't trust the other angels’ intentions, they could just be waiting for the perfect moment to end with both Castiel, now even more with the dead body laying on the cold hard ground behind them, and with Benjamin, for daring to help Cas behind their backs.

Another one stepped forwards to stand next to Benjamin then.

“We are sorry Castiel,” she started, her voice calming, melodic, it didn't do anything to relax any of them “ for not giving you a chance to explain yourself and for not being able to see what he was doing, the way he played with all of us. We were so blind by the past and the lies that we were unable to think twice about the things that were going on right in front of our own eyes. The ones that collaborated with him will be punished too. ”

“This ain't a trick?” Dean had to ask, he needed to be sure. “You aren't going to hurt Cas?” The angel shook her head. “And Benjamin?” He ignored the surprised looks that question got him, well surprised from his brother and Benjamin, he only paid attention to the soft way Cas briefly stared at him at those words, before focusing his attention on the angels again. 

“No, Dean. It's true that Benjamin broke the rules to help Castiel behind our backs,” her voice didn't show anything, those were the facts, but he couldn't read anything behind them, she was speaking to him but, like the other angels, except for Benjamin, she was staring at Cas, “ but with his acts, he warned us and help you save Castiel and all of us too. We want to say thank you.”

“At least now you know that Cas, just like us too, only wants peace, not only for himself, but for all of you too. You have judged him enough, all of us have made mistakes, but he has always tried to do what was better for everyone, even if things didn't go like expected, you could learn a thing or two from him, of his bravery and loyalty, and his heart, of all those things you think are a weakness, because you couldn't be more wrong about it.” For the first time since this whole thing started the angels looked at him, and really listened to what he was saying, he wished they had done it earlier. Cas was looking up at him, smiling softly, he smiled back.

“We will do our best to make Heaven find that peace.”

“Maybe is time for you to look for your freedom and to think for yourselves instead of blindly looking for a leader to follow.’’Cas spoke up then, out of breath, averting his eyes from Dean's face to look at the angels. ‘’I know is difficult, but is necessary, even more if you really want that peace you talk about. We don’t know when god will come back, or if he even wants to come back, but until then, we are on our own, and we can all work together to take care of Heaven and the souls that deserve our care there. Archangels and leaders,” he made a pause, and Dean knew everything that was going through his mind then, he tightened his grip around Cas, ‘’ they have only brought pain and death to all of us.’’

“We should work together now, we know, not against each other, we will come back to Heaven, we won't bother you or the Winchester anymore, Castiel.”

“I'm sorry.” Castiel's head was low, his tone changed suddenly, his voice dropping. Dean knew Cas needed to let out aall he had inside before the angels went away, it was a first step to forgiveness and peace of mind. “ I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused, I know this words will mean nothing, that they will not repair the mistakes, but I wanted you to know, everything I have done will always go with me, I hope one day will come where we all can find peace. I don't deserve your forgiveness.” 

Dean looked at the angels, they were quiet, but Dean wanted to believe they knew Cas was being honest, that all he did in the past was trying to do what he thought was right. 

One day would come when Castiel would be able to carry on, and from now on he would always be there next to Cas to pick him up when he fell and to celebrate and share his happiness too.

Benjamin then walked the few steps between them, raising his hand to make the already in process of healing wounds Cas had everywhere vanish. He blinked a couple times, finally able to open both his eyes.

“We haven't been fair with you either Castiel, not only this time, Dean is right, and we are sorry for it.” The angels nodded their agreement.

“Thank you.” Even if Castiel looked better he didn't leave Dean’s side, who simply tighten the arm he had wrapped around his waist again. “ I really hope you can understand one day, these years hadn't been easy, but I've learned many things. I'm still strong, maybe in a different way, but strong anyway. I hope one day you can understand that not everything is black or white, and that you are free, like I am, to breath and to choose, to act and to go wherever you want to, free to find your peace. I think the best is yet to come.”

Dean thought in that moment that he couldn't be more proud of Cas, that he couldn't love him more. He couldn't believe they were on time, and that Cas was still himself, that he wasn't gone, or that he hadn't forgotten everything they had lived together.

Benjamin nodded, he raised a hand again. Dean tensed at the movement, even if he didn't say anything; he just watched, wondering what Benjamin was going to do, he had already healed Cas, but Cas didn't even blink at the gesture, so Dean relaxed a bit, even if his shoulders still remained tense. Benjamin simply rested his hand on Cas’ cheek for a beat, smiling gently.

“Hope I can see you again soon, brother. In better circumstances, I'm sure you have some good stories to share.” At Cas’ nod and soft smile, Benjamin turned around and the angels shared a look, it seemed they were getting ready to leave.

“You can come with us Castiel, we will need some time, we don't want to be here on Earth anymore, but we will keep a backdoor open.” The other angel said, the other's nodded.

Castiel closed his hand over the one Dean had on his waist. 

At the simple gesture Dean let out all the air he didn't realise he was holding. 

He would have understood, he wouldn't have pressed Cas, because this was his decision, and no one else’ s. He would always be the one to give Cas impulse to fly, never the one to clip his wings, no matter how much it hurt to think about waking up in the morning again without Cas laying by his side.

“I'm thankful for the offer, but I'm not going to leave Earth. I want to be here.” The angels didn't argue, they maybe didn't understand it but they finally seemed to respect Cas’ decision. 

“Goodbye, brother.” 

“Goodbye.”

And like that they were gone.

Dean's knees tremble a little with relief, he lowered his head to leave a lingering kiss on Cas’ forehead, he felt like picking him up and spinning around, no matter how cheesy that sounded.

‘’Do you think they will be okay?’’ Dean shrugged at the question.

‘’I don’t know Cas,” Cas nodded, “ I really hope so, I think all of you have fought enough.’’ 

They would keep and eye on them, of course. Cas nodded again, giving Dean’s hand a light squeeze.

“Let's go home.” He said.

Dean hadn’t heard something that sounded as good as those words in his life.

 

* * *

Dean was quiet all the way back to the bunker, he had passed the impala keys to Sam, accomodating in the backseat with Cas pressed close against his side.  Castiel knew better than trying to make Dean speak up everything he had in his mind, he would told him when he was ready.  He simply leaned in, enjoying their closeness, they were together again, and that was what mattered. Tomorrow would be another day, another dawn, another possibility, a new blank page waiting for them to make a million plans and create even more memories together. 

Dean helped him get out of the car once they got to the bunker , he was already totally healed inside and outside, but he let Dean do it anyway, knowing that he needed to take care of him, and that both needed a reminder that everything had ended well.

Sam and Eileen hugged him tightly, told him how happy they were about him being back and safe, he thanked them, and Dean too, for saving him, and for believing him, for fighting by his side. 

Sam bidded him good night and Eileen kissed his cheek before leaving the garage together, Sam reaching out to put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing her head.

he shared a look with Dean.

''Let's go, it's getting late.''

Dean held his hand tightly, stopping a couple of times on their way to kiss Cas again and again, until they were in front of their bedroom door.

He opened it slowly. 

Instead of the darkness Cas was waiting to greet them, he saw the soft yellow glow of the lamp on his bedside table. 

“You forgot to turn off that light.” 

“I didn't, I,” he stopped talking, urging Cas to enter and closing the door behind them, “ I wanted to keep it on until you came back.” Dean didn't know he was the only light that Castiel needed to guide him in his way back home.

Cas turned around in time for seeing Dean moving towards him, kissing him fiercely. The words he was going to say dying in his lips.

Dean's hands roamed over all the parts of his body they could reach, never stopping on a spot for too long. Making a quick work of getting him out of his trench coat and shirt he started walking,  making Cas step back towards the bed with him. They hadn't had this kind of intimacy for too long, but he knew Dean and he knew all the weight of the past days was starting to really make its appearance.

“Dean.” He couldn't say more, the moment Dean’s lips left his own they were attached to his throat. He stopped all of a sudden, hugging Cas and pulling him closer to his own body, Cas hugged him back just as tightly. Dean stepped backwards, leaning in again for another kiss.

‘’Don’t do that again, you hear me?’’ Dean’s movements slowed down then, he kept walking Cas backwards until the back of his knees met the edge of the bed. Cas sat down, leaving a space between his legs for Dean, he rested his forehead against Dean's stomach.

“It's okay, Dean. I'm okay.” Those words were the ones that made Dean finally crumble, he dropped to his knees in front of Cas, he put both his hands on his hips, hiding his face against the curve of Cas’ neck, breathing in deeply for a couple minutes, relaxing when Cas put his arms around him, it was comforting for both of them, it felt like finally being home.

“I love you, Cas.” Cas was frozen in the spot, it was the first time Dean said those words to him, he wanted to tell them, but he wanted to wait until they were both ready. Maybe they both had waited for too long, and if they wouldn't have been on time they would have never been able to tell them. From now on they could make it their mission to remind it to each other every day. Dean moved back so he was able to look at Cas.“Should have told you sooner, I was so scared of you being gone, I thought I had lost you without telling you, no words can explain the way I missed you, how dark everything seemed when you were gone. But you, you are here, and you have chosen me,” his voice was filled with wonder, “and I want you to know that I will do my best to be worthy, to take care of you and make sure you are alright, and I will do my best to make you happy.” Cas blinked a couple of times, trying to stop the tears he could feel forming in his eyes from falling.

In a quick movement Castiel stood up, making Dean get up too, Cas’ hand closed over the nape of Dean's neck, bringing him down to start a new kiss, and then another. 

“No, Dean, thank you for letting me be part of your family, of your home. I will do my best too, because you deserve anything else but all the love I can give you. I love you too, I love you very much.” 

Cas kept saying those three words between kisses, each of them turning more and more passionate, his hands wandering down until his fingers reached the hem of Dean's henley. Dean raised both his arms helping Cas take the garment off.

Cas rotated them then, Dean now the one pressed against the bed, they both made a quick work of getting out of their shoes and pants. Cas put a hand over his chest, pushing gently until Dean was laying on the bed, letting him move up towards the center of the mattress. He hovered over him, kissing Dean again, letting the hand that wasn't supporting his weight wander over Dean's skin. He trembled. Cas dipped his head leaving a trail of kisses from Dean’s clavicle to the shell of his ear.

“Tell me what you want, Dean.” He whispered softly.

“You.’’

He kept pampering Dean with kisses and soft touches everywhere he could reach, Dean's hands returning each and every caress. Cas pressed their hips together, smiling softly at the sounds Dean was letting out beneath him.

“We have everything we need in that drawer.” Dean spoke up, out of breath. He pointed to his bedside table, his fingers tangling in Cas’ hair again, keeping him in place to kiss him again. Cas laughed roughly.

“I'm going to need you to let me move so I can reach the drawer, Dean.” Dean’s grip lessened, Cas reached out, rummaging in the drawer until he found the bottle of lube Dean kept there.

“Are you ready?” 

“Yeah, Cas, come back here.” Cas obeyed, going back to his previous position willingly as Dean pulled him down against his body.

He took his time, relishing in the soft, out of breath, whimpers Dean was letting out as he traced patterns with his fingertips, tracing his way back home through maps of roads and constellations as he connected Dean's freckles, and the tip of his tongue all over Dean's skin, going slowly until he was ready. It was the first time they were together like this, Dean guided him through the process, Cas putting all his effort to pour all the love he felt in that moment in every little movement he made for Dean to feel it, his eyes never looking away from Dean's, closing them only for a second when he slid inside Dean.

“Cas, Cas.” He said it like a prayer, like it was the only word he could remember in that moment, one of the most perfect moment Cas had ever, in his millions and millions of year of existence, experienced. Cas could only close his eyes tightly and say Dean’s name back.

Dean's legs were tightly wrapped around his waist, his fingers pressing into Cas’ back, his hips moving in time with Cas’. 

Slowly, at first, both getting used to being together like this, so deeply connected, pleasure tingling down Dean's spine, heat on his belly, slowly like they didn't want this to be over too soon; their movements speeding up after a while. 

They stared into each other’s eyes, not wanting to miss a single thing, wanting to commit this image to their memories.

Cas could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, he closed his hand around Dean's erection, determined to take Dean there with him, the long moan Dean let out at the action only making the heat inside Cas grow stronger and more fierce, his soul a riot, unconsciously reaching for Cas grace in the most intense way he had ever experienced, getting a moan from Cas as a reply when he clenched down on him.

Dean came with a gasp of his name a few minutes later, one of his hands trailing up to tangle his fingers in Cas’ hair pulling a bit before making Cas dip his head down to capture his lips in a brief kiss, both having to resurface too soon gasping for air. Cas followed soon, his whole body trembling, eyes shut tightly, he leaned forwards hiding his face in Dean's neck, trying to regain his breathe as he slowly came down from the high of his orgasm, he could feel Dean’s fingertips tracing circles on his back. 

He pulled out slowly and, after a last kiss to Dean's lips, he flopped down on his side of the bed, turning his head to look at Dean. Both of them breathing heavily, with matching wide smiles on their faces. 

He had always thought Dean was a handsome man, from the human point of view, but he also was beautiful for the brightness of his soul, and he didn't think he had ever seen Dean like he was seeing him in that moment, bright green eyes half closed, the smile on his face turning softer on his lips, the heat on his cheeks making his freckles stand up, just like when he was exposed to the summer sun for too long.

Cas finally reached out, cleaning the mess on Dean's stomach, and himself too, and laying down over his chest when he was done. Dean hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head, his heart beating fast just like Cas’, his chest heaving quickly until his breathing started to calm down.

After a few beats Cas moved away from Dean.

“Where are you going now?” Dean sounded annoyed, mostly because he was almost asleep, warm and comfortable with Cas pressed against him. Cas only hushed him, reaching for the sheets and blankets to put them over their naked bodies. He laid down again, accomodating on his side, pressed against Dean's body, his head both on Dean's pillow and his shoulder, his arms wrapped around Dean, Dean's arms around his waist, one of his thumb moving in circles over his hip.

“ _Olani hoath ol_.” He said, staring deeply into Dean's eyes, he kissed him slowly. 

Dean didn't know what that meant, he had learn some enochian over time, but it was the first time he heard those words. He didn't need to know them, or ask Cas, something in the angel’s soft, loving, gaze telling him it probably was something beautiful, something Cas told him letting his heart speak for him. “Sleep now, I will watch over you.” Dean wanted to huff at that, or roll his eyes, but he really needed the sleep, and he knew he would sleep more than the two hours or so he had slept those last days with Cas by his side, keeping him safe. 

But he didn't want to close his eyes just yet, he stared at Cas instead, making sure he was here for real, and that he wouldn't just fade away by the time morning came. 

“I'm not going anywhere, Dean.” He nodded lightly. He knew that, deep down, but he needed to hear it anyway. Everything was okay in that moment, Cas’ head resting next to his on his pillow, Dean let out a soft relieved sigh, letting out the air he didn't know he had been holding, being able to breathe since the very first moment Cas left the bunker. 

He kept staring at Cas, focusing in every little detail he hadn't had the time before to really see, willing his memory to never forget about the face in front of him, about that voice saying his name, about how the touch of those hands felt all over his skin. 

He was amazed for a second, at how quickly he had gotten used to Cas being there, of him being the last thing he saw at night, with a last kiss, and of those blue eyes he loved so much being the first thing to meet him in the morning. And he was sure he didn't ever want to go to bed at night or get up in the morning without Cas by his side ever again. 

He breathed deeply again, finally closing his eyes and pulling Cas closer, sleep claiming him, lulled by the calm and warmth he could feel around and inside him.


	8. I don't know where we're going but, God, it's a start.

_I just want to be counting stars with you_

_I don't know about you but, oh, I love us as a two_

_You took all the lonely days and made them sing_   
_I don't know where we are in the grand scheme of things_   
_But I just wanna be hugging you tonight._

 

**Tom Rosenthal - Hugging You**

 

_Nine months later._

 

Castiel struggled with his bowtie, Dean chuckled, reaching out to help him when the angel sighed with dramatic frustration after a couple of minutes. 

“Here, let me help you.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Dean got the crooked green bowtie, Cas had insisted on wearing, fixed; he smoothed his hands down Cas’ shoulders and fixed his hair a little once he was done. 

“Looking good, babe.” He gave him a wink, enjoying the way a soft pink tinted Cas’ cheeks.

Dean rested both his hands on Cas’ shoulders, looking at him and smiling softly when Cas closed his own hands around his forearms, he leaned in to kiss Cas’ forehead and peck him on the lips before moving back.

Cas followed him with his gaze, Dean looked really handsome that day too with his dark blue bowtie, that he had brought home after Cas has bought his own one, blushing a bit even if Cas hadn't told him anything about it, and his suit. 

Dean breathed deeply then, he opened and closed his mouth a couple times, Cas tilted his head, trying to keep eye contact when Dean dipped his head a little; but he didn't say anything, he simply let Dean tiem and space look for the right words, he knew it was difficult for him sometimes, just like it was for Cas to express everything he felt, but they both were trying their best to not let anything unsaid between them, both the good and the bad things. It was part of accepting the past, to say sorry and to understand the reasons behind their acts.

Castiel raised a hand, cupping Dean's cheek in a reassuring way, he was sure Dean understood that he could always say what he needed to say, and never be teased ot judged for it, when he was with Cas.

“You don't regret it, right?” He finally spoke up, leaning into Cas’ touch, his eyes half - closed focused on Cas’ bowtie. 

Castiel had heard that question enough times to need an explanation. He was quick to shake his head.

“No, Dean. I’m in peace with the choices I have made, I don't regret anything, I want to be here with you and Sam and Eileen, I'm happy here.” It wasn't the first time he had to tell Dean al the things he was saying now, but he didn't mind, what was important was to make Dean feel better. They made a promise, the night they were reunited again after Cas was kidnapped, to always take care of the other. He moved his hand, closing his fingers over Dean's chin, lifting up his face to make him stare at him. He gave him a reassuring smile, hoping his eyes could tell Dean he was saying the truth.“You humans always say that your home is where your heart is and all, angels would probably laugh at me if they could hear me right now; all my heart is telling me is that this is my home.” He moved forwards to kiss Dean on the lips then. “ I love you, Dean, very much.” Dean smiled brightly, the lines of worry on his forehead going away again.

Almost a year had gone by since they confess their feelings and since the angels tried to steal whatever chance at happiness they had. They hadn't heard anything that could make them worry about Heaven, except for the occasional visit, mostly from Benjamin, both angels glad to be free to enjoy their friendship again; or the occasional ask for help with some issue on Earth. 

All seemed to be working just fine up there, and, for the first time in a really long time, everything was working just fine down here too.

‘’I love you too, Cas.”

Castiel sometimes couldn't believe everything went right for once, he had Dean, with all the love he gave him in the sunny days but also in the cloudy ones, and with all the love Cas gave back to him. He had a family and friends and he had been able to talk with the other angels before they got back to Heaven, he had been able to say he was sorry, and they had said it back, and now the past and the troubles, the memories, even if they were still there, now and forever a part of him, seemed easier to leave behind; he would rather carry them with him, and feel their weight some days, that forget everything, to lose himself, like he never had met Dean and Sam. He shook his head, coming back to the present.

“Come on, we are going to be late and Eileen and Sam are going to be mad at us.” Dean nodded, he took the hand Cas had moved again from his chin to his cheek  to hold it tightly, he turned around, dragging Cas behind him as he opened their bedroom door and lead the way outside.

Today was a really important, and really happy, day and they couldn't be late, they wouldn't miss Eileen and Sam's wedding for the world. 

Before they could part ways Jody's voice reached their ears, it came from the library, he knew Sam and Eileen had been welcoming everyone they could contact, but he didn't know Jody and the girls were already here.

“We should say hello to the girls before going to look for the groom and the bride.” Cas nodded, following him without letting go of his hand, they both were slowly getting better at that, at the little gesture of affection outside the four walls of the room they shared, even if the most intimate words and touches would never leave that room; both of them content to have those little moments for them, and only them, where no one could reach them, or hurt them.

“Hey.” Dean said when they were close enough for them to hear them, they could only see Jody and Donna, but Alex and Claire were probably around too.

Jody smiled widely when she spotted them, covering the few steps between them she hugged Dean tightly. She was wearing a beautiful purple dress, the one Donna was wearing looked too similar but it was red instead.

“I missed you boys.” Dean nodded, he would have liked to visit them more often, but hunting always kept them busy, just like planning a wedding in a few months, even if Sam and Eileen didn't want anything too big they all had done their best for everything to be perfect for that day.

“Yeah, it wouldn't kill you to visit us more often.” Donna tried to sound grumpy, but failed, smiling widely at them too and hugging Dean when Jody stepped back.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that.” He scratched the back of his neck, trying not to laugh at the faces Jody and Donna were making at Cas, Dean guessed he used to have the same awed expression in his presence, he had it sometimes even now after all those years. “Do you remember Cas?” They had met only once, a couple months ago, even if, with how much Dean talked about Cas, they both probably knew a lot about him; Dean remembered it was during a quick visit to Jody's in their way to a hunt.

“Of course we do!” She gave him a look that seemed to mean _'how could I forget about a freaking angel of the lord, Dean?’_ and moved forwards to hug Cas too, after an awkward beat, Cas hugged her back, more relaxed once Donna hugged him too. Dean understood, Cas wasn't opposed to physical contact, and he loved hugs, judging by the amount of times he wrapped himself around Dean on a day, but it was still new to him, and he still was trying to get used to that kind of closeness with people that weren't Dean, Sam or Eileen.

“Have you met Eileen yet?” 

“Yes we have,” Claire’s voice came from behind them, “finally there is someone cool living in this place. I feel a bit bad for her, always surronded by nerds, we should come visit often. ” 

“Hey!” Claire only laughed at him when he turned around to point at her with mocked anger. “You aren't going to get any dessert with that attitude.” 

“Nah, Cas would give me a bit of cake behind your back.” Dean looked at Cas then, watching as he tried really hard to fight back a smile.

“You would sleep on the couch, Cas.”

“I'm sorry Claire, you aren't getting any cake.”After a beat Jody started laughing loudly, quickly followed by everyone else but Claire, that made a face at Cas, getting an awkward wink Dean loved a little bit too much from Cas. They had slowly grown close over the last years, Dean knew they called each other from time to time, Cas needed to take care of Claire, to make things right, and, even if it was a difficult and weird situation, Claire accepted Cas as a part of her life now.

“Well, we need to go make sure everything is ready, we will see you at the wedding.” They said their goodbyes, watching them go outside to pick their seats for the ceremony. ''I'm going to check on Sam.''

''I'll go see if Eileen is ready or if she needs anything.''

Cas kissed him gently before leaving his side to go to Eileen's room. Dean climbed the stairs and peered outside for a minute, satisfied when he saw everything was prepared and almost everyone was already out there waiting for the wedding to start. Once he was sure everything was ready he made his way towards Sam’s room.

  


* * *

  


Sam looked at himself on the little mirror in his room, trying to fix his hair with nervous hands. He huffed loudly and gave up after ten minutes, a knock on the door making him avert his gaze from the mirror.

''Yes?''

“It's me.” Dean's voice was muffled behind the door, Sam guessed it was time to go outside.

“Come in, Dean.” Dean opened the door then, a bright smile on his face Sam couldn't couldn't help but answer with one of his own.

He had never seen Dean like this, he had seen him happy before, of course, in few rare occasions; but he had never seen like he was those days, always smiling, or humming around while doing things, or, for everyone that lived with him great embarrassment, dancing like a dork while cooking. 

Just like Cas, even if the angel wasn't as easy to read for him as his brother was, Sam knew him well to know how happy he was by Dean's side too; it was a good thing he had years to get used to long meaningful staring contents between them, because they had only got worse with the last step they took in their relationship.

He loved seeing both of them like that, even if times weren't always that easy or happy, because all of them had a great weight of the past, lately it all felt remote, a new day not always meant a new possibility of seeing the world end up in flames, there were good things now too.

“You ready?” Dean question brought him back to reality, that nervous fluttering in his stomach was back at full force. Sam nodded.

“Just a little bit nervous.” 

“Everything will go fine, this isn't like, you know,” he made a pause, in his eyes a glint that Sam knew meant he was going to be teased, “ that time you we going to get married with Becky.” Sam groaned.

“Don't mention that again, please.” Dean chuckled, but took pity on him.

“Okay, Sammy.”

“You don't think we are going too fast, right?” He knew his brother would have said something if he wasn't okay with the wedding, always taking care of him and pointing him in the good direction. 

He also knew how fast everything could go to hell, and he didn't want to lose a second, he didn't want to regret any more things when tomorrow came. He was sure about this, about Eileen, like he hadn't been in a long time. He loves her, with her intelligence, her kindness, her will to keep fighting and moving forwards, her beautiful and honest brown eyes, she always made him laugh, she made him believe in a happy future he stopped hoping for many years ago. And, as groundbreaking that was, she brought him calm too and that wasn't something bad, she anchored him to reality, and he hoped he helped she feel less lonely, he hoped he was making her feel loved like she deserved.

“Every couple has their own rhythm I guess, it's not something bad. I know you are sure about this, if I thought any different I would have told you. Eileen is great, you don't find something like that in this life everyday, and, dude, she loves you, even if I don't understand why.” Sam gave him a look and a huff, leave it to Dean to joke in a moment like that.

“You and Cas, have you thought about it?” Dean half shrugged at that, Sam knew he was going to end soon with the feels talk, even if he had been working on being more open about that kind of things, Sam thought it was because of Cas’ disappearance, it made him try and be more vocal about what he felt.

“Yeah, of course, but it's different, Cas and I, we have more, well,” he struggled to look for the right word, but Sam knew what he meant of course.

“Baggage?” Nine years of past are not something easy to leave behind, he could understand that, and he had seen all they had been through.

“Yeah, that's a way to say it, we are okay where we are right now, no need to hurry. We don't really care about the point we are at, we just are, we are together, and that's what matters in my book.”

“But… one day you will-?” He made a vague gesture with his hand.

“Ask him? Yeah, if he doesn't ask first, of course.”

“I have to be honest, knowing how bold Cas is sometimes I thought he was going to ask you like a week after you got together.” Dean shook his head, amused; but he wondered then, if things had gone in a different way and they hadn't have had to face those deaths, if Cas would have given that step. He shook his head again, his expression turning more serious now.

“He would never give a step forwards as big as that one without being sure I'm sure, just like I wouldn't do it, we are always trying really hard not to mess this up.”

“You won't.” Dean nodded, even if he still looked a bit unsure.

“Well,” Dean clapped once, ending the conversation, he smiled brightly again “we should get going, you don't want an angry bride waiting for you at the altar.” Sam laughed a bit at that, it was more a nervous laugh that anything else. 

Before he could leave the room Dean pulled him in for a bone-crushing hug.

“I'm really proud of you.” 

He took a deep breath, hugging Dean back just at tightly.

“Thank you Dean, not only for this, I think I should tell you more often, thank you for everything.” He swallowed past the lump in his throat when all Dean did was to tighten his grip around him at those words. “ We should get out there.”

“Yeah.” Dean patted his back before letting go of him. “Come on, man, you can't be late for your big day.” 

 

 

Cas opened the door to Eileen's room slowly, he probably didn't want to peer inside until Eileen gave him the go, so she watched his hands as he signed to let her now it was him. Eileen gripped one of his hands, pulling him into the room and quickly closing the door behind them. He simply stared at her for a minute with wide eyes. She was stunning.

She hadn't let any of them see her wedding dress, so he took his time to observe every little detail. It was a beautiful shade of white, seashell, with a little flowers patterns embroidery at the bottom part of the dress. He smiled widely when looks up at her eyes again.

'You look really beautiful.’ he signed. 

‘Thank you.’ She smiled softly at him.

‘Are you ready?’ She looked around the room, before smoothing her hands down her dress in a nervous gesture and giving her hair the last touches.

‘Yes.’ She picked up the flower bouquet from where It laid on the middle of the bed, it had daisies, lilac flowers and red carnations in it. She gently picked a daisy and turned to Cas, putting the flower in his buttonhole. He smiled softly at it.

'How are you feeling?’ 

'I'm good.’ And it surprised her, all she had life since meeting them, like it was a dream. ‘ I never thought I would be here today, not how I saw my future going.’ That wasn't something bad, on the contrary, she knew how lucky she was for having found what she found here, love and family.

It was difficult to believe sometimes, to let the guard downs and really believe she was getting all those nice things. Not like things usually worked for her, or for most of them that were like them.

But it also felt right, right to open her heart here, to be herself, loving Sam, it felt right too.

'Fate surely has its ways to surprise and confuse us, I'm really glad it let you found each other.' Eileen nodded, she didn't only find Sam, she had Dean and Cas now. And she knew Cas understood her well, they both had been determinated to live their lives in a way, but the universe had other plans for them.

'I'm really happy too.' 

Castiel offered her his arm, quietly watching her take a deep breath.

'If you are ready, he is waiting for you.'

__

* * *

  


Castiel was the one to walk Eileen to the improvised altar they had built for the occasion with branches, cloth and flowers, outside of the bunker. Sam and Dean were already waiting there, along with the guests, Cas watched Sam eyes water when he saw Eileen. He kissed her cheek before letting go of her hand so she could join her hands with Sam.

The pastor, an old Eileen's friend that had gave her, and many other hunters, shelter at his church during rough and long winter nights; started with the ceremony, signing everything to Eileen as he talked for everyone reunited there that day.

Dean was clearly a bit bored, because the moment their eyes met he made a funny faces at him from the other side of the altar, over Sam's shoulder; Cas rolled his eyes at him, bitting his bottom lip to avoid laughing.

“Focus, Dean.” He mouthed at him, and gave him a scold. Dean rolled his eyes but behaved for the rest of the pastor's speech, his attention even more focused on Sam and Eileen when they were told to share their vows.

It was a beautiful, intimate moment, Cas doubted someone else but them and the pastor could understand what they were saying to each other, he thought that as long as they both knew and understand their promises and words to each other nothing else mattered.

He had helped Sam with his vows, h ewatched as he signed them, his hands trembling a bit, he looked at Cas, he nodded, he was doing great. It was difficult for him, just like Cas guessed was difficult for Eileen, to find the right words to express himself, but he did with a bit of help from Cas, and some jokes from Dean too, that was rather helpful once he was done teasing his brother. They both talked about how happy they were, they made promises of love and care. Cas reached out to wipe at his eyes, he looked at Dean, waiting to see him making another face at him, but instead he was smiling softly, in his eyes the same emotion Cas was feeling.

The pastor finished once they were done, telling Eileen she could kiss her now husband, things she did with enthusiasm, their public clapping. She even threw her bouquet backwards, Dean blushing really hard when Cas was the one to catch it.

They all went back inside for the party after the wedding, everyone prasing Dean fro the great work he had done with the food, making him blush once again. At some point Dean took Cas' hand dragging him to the two steps at the door of the war room, he clinked a fork against the glass he was holding, waititng until he had everyone's attention. Cas looked at him confused.

''I want you to tell Eileen for me.'' He murmured, Cas nodded and smiled.

“I wanted to propose a toast, for the new husband and wife, for a new life and for all the good things I'm sure are waiting for them just around the corner.'' He made a pause, staring at his brother. '' I guess that we all are thinking about someone that can't be here today,” Dean waited for Cas to sign all he said for Eileen, smiling softly at him before looking back at Sam and Eileen again, “I'm sure they would have been happy for you, and proud too, they would have loved to be part of this day.” He thought about Bobby, about how the old man would have scoff at them while trying to hide his tears, damn proud of the boys he raised. He thought about Charlie, and Kevin, they would have loved to be here too. He wondered what Mary would have thought about all of this. He guessed Eileen's parents would have been more than happy for them. “ I can say I am, really happy to be here, and really proud.” he made a pause again, he didn't have anything prepared; looking for the right words, he wanted to be good and not embarrass his brother, and he knew the look both Cas and Sam were giving him right now, so he gave up and decided the soft version of his speech was the best option in the moment. No awkward stories or double meaning jokes “ You know how this life, our life is,”  his words got a chorus of nods, “ so love each other, take good care of each other too, never go to bed angry and enjoy every second of what fate have decided to gift you with.” He raised his glass and everyone else did the same. '' I wish you the best.'' Everyone drank, Cas kissed his cheek before being dragged by some hunter, whose name Dean didn't remember, and that was still trying to wrap his head around the idea of being that close to an angel, Cas had been answering question and getting praises for more than half and hour. Dean would save him if he noticed Cas was uncomfortable with the attention. He got a double hug from both Sam and Eileen, before they left to keep talking with everyone that had come to be with them.

The party kept going, Dean and Cas smiling at each other whenever they saw the other across the room, Dean finally went looking for Cas when he was talking with Claire, both sitting down on the steps, close to hear what the other was saying over the sound of music and other conversations. For what he could hear when he approached Claire was telling Cas about one of her last hunts.

Cas suddenly saw a hand out of the corner of his eye, Dean was there standing by his side him smiling down at him brightly.

“May I have this dance?” Claire shook her head amused.

“Of course.” Cas took the hand Dean offered, letting him help him stand. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, Dean putting his own around his waist, swaying them to the rhythm of the music.

“I couldn't believe no one wanted to dance with the most handsome man at the wedding.” Cas laughed. 

“I was waiting to dance with the groom's brother. See, he has this beautiful green eyes and this wonderful smile.”

“He is a really good kisser too, you should ask him out on a date.” They had a date night now, outside or even in the bunker, it was always nice to do the normal things normal couples did.

“Really?” Dean kissed him. “Hmm, I think I'm going to need more proofs.” Dean laughed but humored Cas, kissing him again.

''Yes, it's true, he is a great kisser.''

''Told you so, but be careful, once you had one you would want a million more.''

''I can't wait for all of them.'' This time around Cas was the one to kiss Dean. They danced in silence for a while after that, Cas fingertips tracing circles on the back of Dean's head.

‘’I've been thinking about something Cas, '' Cas looked at him, waiting for him to continue, '' maybe we could go somewhere nice for the summer, when Sam and Eileen are back from their honeymoon, just you and me. We could go to the beach or I don't know, wherever you want to.’’ There was this bit of insecurity in his voice, like he was waiting for a no from him. Cas nodded, he was sure Dean had everything planned by now, and he didn't care about where they could go as long as they went there together. The beach sounded like a nice idea, the perfect place to just relax and watch the stars wrapped around each other.

‘’I would love that, Dean.’’ Dean smiled widely.

''Great.''

  


That night, when the bunker was silence again and  everyone had left or was in bed resting for the roadtrips they had ahead of them when the morning came, Castiel took a moment to thought about those last months while he watch over Dean as he slept laying on his chest, he carded his fingers gently through Dean's short hair, he thought about that first kiss, and about that haunted house where they finally gave the big step, he thought about the fear he had felt, like a cold hard hand closing over his heart when he thought he was going to lose Dean just a breath after starting a new path together. All of it was now overcome by the warmth, love and happiness he could feel deep in his chest, and it was in moments like this one when he knew how lucky he was, and when he knew there wasn't any place, in Earth or the whole vast universe, that he would rather be than where he was right now, with Dean safe between his arms, He was excited about the plans Dean would want to share with him, he wondered what the sunrise would bring them, there was only one thing he was sure about, that all fo that didn't matter as long as Dean, his heart, was with him.

Dean suddendly stirred, pressing himself closer to Cas' body, muttering his name, Cas smiled and tightened his embrace around Dean.

'' _Olani hoath ol_ , Dean.''

From now on, everything would go just fine.

 

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this is it, i'm a little bit emotional about this, i proved myself i could write something longer than a ficlet!! This is the last chapter, buuut there are two short fic to complete this one coming soon! ❤ thanks for reading, as always you can reach me on tumblr too, i'm bend-me-shape-me there!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thanks for reading! You can find me on tumblr, I'm bend-me-shape-me, for any question, information about this fic or complain. I'll update this fic every tuesday.


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